Star Trek: Voyager Season 1 quotes

The Doctor

Computer, run EMH program "Photons Be Free."

Welcome. You've made an excellent choice. You're obviously a person with impeccable taste.

'The Doctor

Computer, freeze program!

Unable to comply.

You are about to embark... on a remarkable journey. You will take on the role of a medical assistant aboard the Starship: Voyeur.

The Doctor

Voyeur?!

Your job will be to assist the chief medical officer and learn to tolerate his overbearing behaivor and obnoxious bedside manner. Remember! Patience is a virtue!

Chapter 1: It's the Doctor's World, You're Just Living In It.

When I tell you your shift begins at 0800, that doesn't mean you can stroll in here at 0800 and 24 seconds. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, ENSIGN?

The Doctor

This is outrageous.

What's outrageous, is that I'm going to miss my tee time. Now come along.

Aww, what seems to be the trouble, One of Three?

I'm Two of Three.

Uh-huh, sorry. [looks over at Doctor] They're triplets, ya'know.

It hurts when I do this. [moves shoulders in a circle]

Well then don't do it. [laughs and pats Two of Three on the shoulder]

Ow!

Oh, don't be a baby. [picks up a medical tricorder and moves it up and down extremely fast]

Ah, your bi-radial clamp is out of alignment. I got just the thing. [picks up a hypospray and looks at the Doctor] It's a Klingon aphrodisiac. My own special blend. [Injects Two of Three with it and begins massaging her]

You'll be feeling better in no time at all. [Two of Three giggles as the Doctor watches appalled]

The Doctor

My publisher assures me that he won't distribute the program until he receives the revised version.

B'Elanna Torres

That must be the one where we assimilate the Borg and take over the quadrant.

B'Elanna Torres

It's been months since I've been on an away mission.

Tom Paris

Then try the holodeck. The Flyer is full.

B'Elanna Torres

You can make room. Neelix doesn't have to go.

Tom Paris

He's not six months pregnant.

B'Elanna Torres

Being pregnant doesn't make me an invalid.

Tom Paris

[sighs] No, it doesn't. But there's a toxic atmosphere down there, and you're breathing for two.

B'Elanna Torres

[sighs] All right, you win. But if we have another baby, you carry it, and I'll go on the away missions.

Tom Paris

It's a deal. [they kiss]

Chakotay

The urge to explore is pretty powerful.

Kathryn Janeway

But it can't justify the loss of lives, whether it's millions or just one.

The Doctor

Sometimes being a hologram has its advantages.

Chakotay

[Walks towards Seven of Nine while limping on a stick] Is everything alright?

Seven of Nine

I need your tricorder.

Chakotay

[Hands her his tricorder] It's nice to see you, too.

Seven of Nine

I lost mine.

Joe has quite a flair for romantic gestures.

Tom Paris

"Joe"?

The Doctor

I... decided I couldn't get married without a name.

Tom Paris

It took you thirty-three years to come up with "Joe"?

The Doctor

It was Lana's grandfather's name...

Harry Kim

Captain Proton would never walk away from a mission like this.

Tom Paris

Captain Proton doesn't have a wife, and a baby on the way.

Welcome to the house of Korath, Admiral

Janeway

(sarcastically) I love what he's done with the place.

(shouts angrily in Klingon)

(shouts angrily back in Klingon)

Janeway

What was that about?

He said your demeanor was disrespectful.

Janeway

Oh dear. I hope you told him I didn't mean to be rude.

Actually, I told him that if he didn't show you more respect, I would break his arm.

Janeway

Oh, you are your mother's daughter.

Kathryn Janeway

[To an extremely hostile Klingon Vessel] I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm on a tight schedule.

Admiral Kathryn Janeway

I know exactly what you're thinking

Captain Kathryn Janeway

You've also become a telepath?

Admiral Janeway

I used to be you. Remember?

Captain Janeway

I want to know why you didn't tell me about this.

Admiral Janeway

Because I remember how stubborn and self-righteous I used to be. I figured you might try to do something stupid.

Lt. Torres

[in labor] If you tell me to relax one more time, I'm gonna rip your holographic HEAD off!

The Doctor

I hope you don't intend to kiss your baby with that mouth.

Tell me this isn't another false alarm.

The Doctor

This isn't another false alarm.

I can't believe it.

Torres

[strained] Oh, believe it.

I might actually win.

Torres

What?

The baby pool. I picked today, 1500 hours.

Torres

I'm so glad I could accommodate you.

The Doctor

Don't celebrate yet. Klingon labor can sometimes last several days. [B'Elanna Torres grabs him by the shirt and screams] Of course, I'm sure that won't be the case here.

You're asking me to believe that the incorruptible Kathryn Janeway would betray her own crew?

Not betray them. Save them from themselves. I brought technology to help Voyager get home. But the Captain is arrogant, self righteous and her officers are so blinded by loyalty that they're prepared to sacrifice their lives just to deal a crippling blow to the Borg.

I didn't spend the last 10 years looking for a way to get this crew home early so you could throw it all away on some intergalactic good-will mission.

Captain Kathryn Janeway

Maybe we should go back to sickbay?

Why? So you can have me sedated?

Captain Kathryn Janeway

So I can have the Doctor reconfirm your identity. I refuse to believe I'll ever become as cynical as you.