Leonard McCoy quotes from Star Trek: The Original Series

Spock

The child was named Leonard...James...Akaar?!

McCoy

Has a kind of a...ring to it, don't you think, James?

Kirk

Yes. I think it's a name...destined to go down in galactic history, Leonard - what do you think, Spock?

Spock

I think you're both going to be insufferably pleased with yourselves for at least a month ... Sir.

Kirk

Total senility?

Spock

Yes, Captain. In a very short time.

Kirk

What a way to die. All right. I want all the research facilities, all the scientific technicians, to start round-the-clock research immediately. I want the answers, and I want the remedy. Let's start by finding out why Chekov hasn't been affected.

McCoy

I'm doing what I can. [to Spock] You're perfectly healthy.

Spock

[sitting up] I must differ with you, Doctor. I'm having difficulty concentrating, which is most disturbing. My eyesight appears to be failing, and the normal temperature of the ship seems to me to be increasingly cold.

McCoy

I did not say you were not affected, Mr. Spock! You are perfectly healthy...that is, for any normal Vulcan on the high side of a hundred!

Spock

I have a question for the doctor. [Kirk leaves] Doctor, the ship's temperature is increasingly uncomfortable for me. I've adjusted the environment in my quarters to one hundred twenty five degrees, which is at least tolerable. However, I -

McCoy

Well, I see I'm not going to be making any house calls on you!

Spock

I wondered if perhaps there was something which could lower my sensitivity to cold.

McCoy

I'm not a magician, Spock - just an old country doctor.

Spock

Yes...as I always suspected.

Scotty

Thank heaven!

Spock

Mr Scott, there was no deity involved. It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them.

McCoy

Then thank pitchforks and pointed ears.

Spock

Doctor, I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated by them, but I've trained myself to put up with practically anything.

McCoy

Spock, I don’t know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there is one thing that I have discovered.

Spock

What is that, Doctor?

McCoy

I like them - better than I like you.

Spock

Doctor, they do indeed have one redeeming characteristic: they do not talk too much.

Spock

Captain, Starfleet was able to divert that freighter.

Kirk

Good. That means Sherman's Planet will get its quadrotriticale [he looks around the Bridge]...only a few weeks late. I don't see any tribbles around here.

McCoy

And you won't find a tribble on this entire ship.

Kirk

Bones, how did you do it?

McCoy

I cannot take credit for another man's work. Scotty did it.

Kirk

Scotty! Where are the tribbles?

Scotty

Oh, er, Captain, it was really Mister Spock's recommendation.

Kirk

Of course. Spock.

Spock

Based on computer analysis, of course, taking into account the possibilities of -

Kirk

Gentlemen, I don't want to interrupt this mutual admiration society, but I'd like to know where the tribbles are.

McCoy

Tell him, Spock.

Spock

Well, it was Mister Scott who performed the actual engineering.

Kirk

Mister Scott. [slowly, for emphasis] Where are the tribbles?

Scotty

I used the transporter, Captain.

Kirk

You used the transporter?

Scotty

Aye.

Kirk

Where did you transport them? Scott, you didn't transport them into space, did you?

Scotty

Captain Kirk, that'd be inhuman!

Kirk

Well, where are they?

Scotty

I gave them a good home, sir.

Kirk

[exasperated now] Where?!

Scotty

I gave them to the Klingons, sir.

Kirk

[whisper] You gave them to the Klingons?!

Scotty

Aye, sir. Before they went into warp, I transported the whole kit and kaboodle into their engine room, where they'll be no tribble at all.

McCoy

You mean ... you're gonna leave here without them, and run off on some wild goose chase halfway across the galaxy, just because you found a discrepancy in a hydrogen cloud?

Spock

Doctor, I'm chasing the Captain, Lieutenant Uhura and Ensign Chekov, not some wild aquatic fowl.

McCoy

Well, Mr. Spock, if you’re going into the lion’s den, you’ll need a medical officer.

Spock

Daniel, as I recall, had only his faith, but I welcome your company, Doctor.

Spock

Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here.

McCoy

You admit that?

Spock

To deny the facts would be illogical, Doctor.

Spock

Do not risk the ship further on my behalf.

McCoy

Shut up, Spock! We're rescuing you!

Spock

Why, thank you, Captain McCoy.

Spock

I've noticed that about your people, Doctor. You find it easier to understand the death of one than the death of a million. You speak about the objective hardness of the Vulcan heart, yet how little room there seems to be in yours.

McCoy

Suffer the death of thy neighbor, eh, Spock? You wouldn't wish that on us, would you?

Spock

It might have rendered your history a bit less bloody.

Kirk

The only solution is what happened back then. A balance of power.

Leonard McCoy

And if the Klingons give their side even more?

Kirk

Then we arm our side with exactly that much more. A balance of power— the trickiest, most difficult, dirtiest game of them all, but the only one that preserves both sides.

Kirk

Bones? You could stop all this by saying no. That's why I called you all here together. We'll all be deeply involved. It must be unanimous.

McCoy

Then I'll still want one question answered to my satisfaction. Why? Not a list of possible miracles, but a simple basic understandable why that overrides all danger. And let's not kid ourselves that there is no potential danger in this!

Kirk

They used to say that if Man was meant to fly, he'd have wings. But he did fly. He discovered he had to. Do you wish that the first Apollo mission hadn't reached the moon, or that we hadn't gone on to Mars and then to the nearest star? That's like saying you wish that you still operated with scalpels and sewed your patients up with catgut like your great-great-great-great-grandfather used to. I'm in command. I could order this. But I'm not because Doctor McCoy is right in pointing out the enormous danger potential in any contact with life and intelligence as fantastically advanced as this. But I must point out that the possibilities, the potential for knowledge and advancement is equally great. Risk...risk is our business. That's what this starship is all about. That's why we're aboard her.

McCoy

I will not peddle flesh. I'm a physician.

A physician?!? In contrast to what we are, you are a prancing, savage medicine man! You dare defy one you should be on your knees worshipping? I could destroy you with a single thought!!

At least defend yourself.

McCoy

I am defending myself!