SpongeBob SquarePants · Season 13
“Salty Sponge” · Season 13
In this episode: Abrasive SpongeBob (6), Mrs. Puff (2), Sally (2), Mr. Krabs (1)
[throwing flowers around] Soon I will get a thrill cooking patties on my grill! [jumps to the door, but is blocked by a huge sign in front it, which he reads out loud] "The Krusty Krab is closed on account of urchins"? Oh, I must be in a nightmare!
[walks towards him, covered in urchins] It's no nightmare, SpongeBob. I'm closing me old girl up for a week to get rid of those prickly pests. Plus, I had a coupon for "Urchin-Be-Gone"!
What will become of me? What am I gonna do for a whole week?!
You must be SpongeBob. Welcome to the Salty Spitoon! I'm the owner of this joint! That means you's work for me now!
My new boss! So nice to meet--
Here's the grill! Here's the spatula! Now make with the grub!
Um, just out of curiosity, what happened to your last fry cook?
That's our "Employee of the Month" wall! Your photo's gonna be next if you don't get to woik!
Don't worry SpongeBob, it'll be just like working at the Krusty Krab.
Lalalala!
Keep those patties coming, pal! I love you!
Give me a brick covered with nails with extra motor oil! [SpongeBob ends up making a bagel] Huh? What is this garbage? I asked for a brick covered with nails.
Oh. I thought that was just diner lingo. Sorry! Covered with nails, extra motor oil, Salty Spitoon style!
[wearing a punk outfit] Whaddaya know? Whaddaya say, gang?
It's Puff the Tuff!
P-P-P-P-Puff the Tuff!? [Mrs. Puff headbutts him and walks through the smoke cloud. She puffs up to get rid of the customers at the counter, and sits on a stool. Sally watches from behind the counter.]
Gimme a tall glass of broken glass in a dirty glass. [Sally serves it. Mrs. Puff bites the glass and chews it. SpongeBob is heard laughing.]
That laugh. No! It can't be him.
[holds up bomb with barbecue sauce] Who ordered the bomb-becue? [laughs]
[screams] SPONGEBOB!!!!!!! [runs away screaming, and squeezes through the door, as everyone watches, the Customers gasp]
[confused] Was that Mrs. Puff?
[singing] ♪ Ohhh...come one and come all to the Softy Spitoon! ♪
♪ Softy Spitoon! ♪
♪ Where all of our cupcakes come with a balloon ♪
♪ Softy Spitoon! ♪
♪ If you like head kisses and cuddly hugs ♪
♪ Softy Spitoon! ♪
♪ Then raise up your milk with "I Heart Mom" mugs!
♪ Softy Spitoon! ♪
♪ Ready? ♪
♪ Softy-♪
Enough!
Hey everybody, that guy is kidnapping our leader! [The customers continue to brawl, about to leave.]
[Meanwhile, after departing the Softy Spitoon, SpongeBob as a horse rides Mr. Krabs back to the Krusty Krab, not shown. The mob brawl chases them.]
♪ Softy Spitoon, Softy Spitoon, Softy...Spitoon ♪
[The scene cuts to inside the Softy Spitoon grill and zooms in to a portrait of SpongeBob named Employee of Da Year with drawings of him.SpongeBob laughs as both the song and episode end.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
