White knuckles, leaky pores, stomach in knots... Y-yep. He looks pretty bad. SpongeBob, you're afflicted with severe Oral Report-itis! You know, patients with this disease have been known to physically explode. KER-POW!!!
[shrieks]
It has been scientifically proven that 85% of speech related stress can be eliminated if the speaker imagines the audience in their underwear. Everyone will look so silly, you won't even remember you're nervous! Which is why I invented these: Goggles that let you see people in their undies. Or, I could just make you a fake boating license.
That's still illegal. Give me the goggles. [tries them on] It's not working.
Well, of course it isn't, silly! I'm only wearing my undies. See if they work on Patrick.
[looks at Patrick and jumps] Eh. Yeah, they work.
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