[A live-action segment of the episode begins] (narrating) Four young boys in Colorado are on a trip from Hell. [cut to different shots of the four boys screaming] ...trapped on a forty-two foot power boat [cut to the boat the boys are on] which is only allowed to go five miles an hour.
[angrily] Because we keep getting screwed over by your diarrhea!
[shoots back at Kyle] Well, it’s not my diarrhea's fault that you took us all zip lining, you fahkin’ Jew!
Ziplining was your idea, you fatass!
The fourth graders are in a nightmare they cannot escape.
Kenny, whose idea was it to go ziplining- mine or Kyle's?
[unmuffled, nonchalantly] I don't know; I really don't give a shit...
For four elementary school boys, an already tragic day becomes a descent into madness on... [cut to a fly-over of the boat as the title appears into view] "I Should Have Never Got on a Goddamn Boat". [cut to more shots of Kenny and Stan screaming]
[notices Cartman drinking another can of Diet Double Dew] Oh no. You're not stinking up the entire boat! You're taking a crap off the side, into the water! [the scene cuts to a watermark saying, "The events in this film took place over 4 hours in the Colorado Rockies", followed by shots of Cartman defecating over the side of the boat, Stan screaming, and Kyle and Kenny vomiting]
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