[the boys, as part of their first assignment as actual policemen, are performing a raid on a meth lab, walking up the driveway to the premises]
What is a "meth lab", anyway?
I don't know, let's just hurry up, I wanna get home in time to watch Crime Drama.
[Interior scene, meth lab. Four drug dealers can be seen; two are working, one is cleaning a shotgun, and one is tying off his arm, injecting something.]
[Exterior scene, the boys walk up to the front door and Stan knocks.]
[Back inside, the drug dealers grab nearby guns and get ready.]
Uh, police, open up. [aside to others] Oh crap, did you guys do your math homework?
No, dude, I totally spaced it.
[Suddenly, gunshots ring out from the lab, shattering a window. The boys take cover.]
YOU DIE, PIGS! [fire more shots] YOU WANNA DIE, HUH?!
[Cut to inside, where the dealer is firing from an assault rifle. He loses control of his gun and accidentally shoots some chemicals, which ignite and light another drug dealer on fire, who runs out of the house screaming in agony as the boys watch speechless. A pickup truck with two other drug dealers then smashes through the garage door, with one of the dealers firing at the boys.]
You won't take us alive!
[The pickup truck drives off of a ramp, lands on its left side on the road, is T-boned by a UPS truck, which is then hit by a passenger car, causing an explosion and the occupants of the involved vehicles running around screaming and on fire. As the boys look on, they notice the last drug dealer escaping in a small prop plane.]
So long, coppers!
[The plane's fuel guage shows the plane is out of fuel.]
Oh, shit! [screams]
[The unpowered plane quickly loses altitude and crashes into South Park's post office, destroying it and severely damaging several surrounding buildings. Bystanders caught in the explosion are seen running on fire and screaming. The boys simply stare in shock.]
Damn.
[Interior scene, police station. Lt. Dawson is reading the boys the riot act.]
One UPS vehicle valued at twenty-five thousand dollars, one civilian vehicle valued at sixteen thousand dollars, the second floor of the post office and a coffee shop valued at sixteen thousand dollars! The mayor's going to have my ass!
Uh, sir, we just kinda got blind-sided by the--
You got careless! Now, I don't know how they do things down at that dog-and-pony show they call the fourth grade, but here, we have rules! Jesus, we don't have guys to question now, because you killed them all!
We're sorry.
One more slip-up like that and I'll have your badges! You hear me?! Now hit the showers!
More from this episode
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