John Edward and Stan in “The Biggest Douche in the Universe”

You better not call me a liar, a fake, or a douche, or else I'll sue you for slander!

Stan

I am saying this to you, John Edward. You are a liar. You are a fake. And you are the biggest douche ever.

Everything I tell people is positive and gives them hope! How does that make me a douche?

Stan

Because the big questions in life are tough! "Why are we here?" "Where are we from?" "Where are we going?" But as long as people believe in asshole douchey liars like you, we're never going to find the answers to those questions. You aren't just lying, you're slowing down the progress of all mankind, you douche!