[Cartman has been confessing his sins, unaware of who is in the other side of the confessional]
And that was about everything from first grade. And then last year...you can't tell anybody about this stuff, right?
Your confession does not leave this box.
Okay, because last year, I took a sandwich that the priest of this church had been eating.
Oh. Well, I'm sure he would forgive you...if he...knew.
No but I'm not finished yet. I took the sandwich that the priest was eating, took the piece of ham out of it, put it between my butt cheeks, and then put the sandwich back and watched him eat it.
[annoyed] I see.
And then this other time, I went pee pee in the holy water thing, and the priest blessed himself on the forehead with it every day for about a week. And then this one time, I was at the park, and the priest was out walking his dog, and I went number two on the sidewalk, and then told Officer Barbrady that it was the priest's dog, so then the priest got fined like $100 for not picking it up. And then this one time, I put superglue all over the priest's bottom...
[Father Maxi, who has been getting steadily angrier during this confession, finally smashes through the confessional screen and begins throttling Cartman]
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