TV show quotes
I am not happy about being here either. At least you and I, you know-we can try to have a decent conversation.
What? What do you want? You want to bond? You want to get closer? Fine.
[Tig undoes his belt.]
What are you doing?
I'm gonna dunk my balls in your mouth. You're gonna gag. I'm gonna laugh. We'll be best friends forever.
[to guy sitting on his bike] Say 'Cheese.'
Cheese.
[Jax takes picture]
That's before.
Before?
[Jax punches him]
Don't ever sit on another man's bike, asshole…
[Bobby takes picture]
That's after.
You are the James T. Kirk of the MC world.
Boldly going where no man's gone before?
I think quite a few have been there before.
[about Gemma] Hey, I gotta admit. Clay's old lady gave me a serious MILF chubby. [notices Clay]…Hey, I brought the car out of the garage. It's clear now…so, uh…
Clip a truck from Unser's tonight. Make it look like you stole it. Cancer boy wants deniability.
[Clay leaves]
MILF Chubby?
It's like a compliment, you know? Cause, she's hot.
[After Tig was bitten by the dog]
I thought you said you drugged the meat?
I did.
Look at him, he's foamin' at the mouth.
That thing should be dead. I dosed it like two grams.
Grams of what?
Crank.
You fed crystal to a killer doberman, Are you retarded?
No.
Well I'd better get back to the fireworks or your mom's gonna be stuffing gun powder up my ass.
Ya, I'm sure we're all on the Gemma shit list by now.
I live on that shit list.
The hand on the dick thing. What's the deal?
I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. Sorry. I have this condition. I'm not even aware of it.
Condition?
CMD. Compulsive Masturbation Disorder. I couldn't get the right meds in Stockton so it's a little out of control right now.
You know, I used to have that. And then, uh, hell, I turned 13.
I step outside for five minutes, you can't watch him?
I was in the can.
I was getting him the soft toilet paper. He hates the scratchy kind.
Well I'm glad your ass is feeling loved.
I love you.
That love's gonna kill me.
Hey, you all better be at that fundraiser tomorrow, unless you want a size nine high-heel boot up your ass.
You coming?
I'd rather have my balls cut off.
[everyone laughs and groans]
What? What? Too soon for that joke?
[grabs Hale and Kohn's butts] Mmm! Mother's little helpers. Get me my goddamn warrant.
[as Gemma is led into the police station] What the hell did you do?
Same thing you did. Nailed some little tart from Nevada.
Like I don't have enough shit oozing out of my ears. You gotta go and do this.
You should've thought of that before your dick went on a cheerleader hunt.
Hey! I didn't tell her to come here.
But she's here!
Well, it's not my fault!
And it's not my pussy!
And that's why I'm single.
[voiceover] The older I get, the more I realize that age doesn't bring wisdom. It only brings weary. I'm not any smarter than I was 30 years ago. I've just grown too tired to juggle the lies and hide the fears. Self-awareness doesn't reveal my indiscretions; exhaustion does.
[about Clay] You so much as flash a pretty grin at him-I will jam my fist so far up your bony ass, your cup size will double.
Is that how your rack got to be that size?
I didn't sign on for burned bodies, dead sheriffs.
I know.
This is over.
Hey, Trammel. It's too late for over, man. You know all about us, and we know all about you. Look, only way this relationship works is two of us together, or one of us dead.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sons of Anarchy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
