Half-Sack Epps quotes from Sons of Anarchy

[about Gemma] Hey, I gotta admit. Clay's old lady gave me a serious MILF chubby. [notices Clay]…Hey, I brought the car out of the garage. It's clear now…so, uh…

Clay

Clip a truck from Unser's tonight. Make it look like you stole it. Cancer boy wants deniability.

Tig

MILF Chubby?

It's like a compliment, you know? Cause, she's hot.

Clay

I step outside for five minutes, you can't watch him?

Piney

I was in the can.

I was getting him the soft toilet paper. He hates the scratchy kind.

Clay

Well I'm glad your ass is feeling loved.

Tig

So you stole an ambulance?

Juice

I had nothing to do with this.

Hell, these things are worth, like, a hundred grand, easy.

Clay

Yeah, they are. That's why the people who buy 'em are, like, state and federal agencies. So, uh, what? You want me to sell a stolen vehicle to the government?

Oh, uh, just something like a small hospital or something.

Clay

Oh, like, uh, Uncle Freddy's Infirmary?

Tig

Why don't you just steal, like, a fire engine? And then we could have our own rescue center. We could have our own little uniforms and hats.

[about his prosthetic testicle] It's a little bit painful when I ride. Sometimes I feel it when I walk. Other than that, back to normal.

Tig

Is it gay that I want to see it?

Bobby

Gay curious.

Tig

Come on, drop 'em.

Bobby

Showtime.

Is it supposed to be that swollen?

Think so.

Tig

They look uneven.