[The language of twins]
Sham. [Sorry]
Huh?
Katie sham. [I'm sorry]
Why are you talking Twin? We don't do that anymore.
Emsy sham doo. [Say you're sorry too]
Emsy sham. [Sorry]
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
JFJames Fitch
Gordon McPhearson says you call 'em dykes, 'cause you have to stick your finger in 'em.
JFJames Fitch
[Walks in on Katie changing] Woah! You're naked, bitch!
[To Emily] Bumble mumble jimjams! [Kick the shit out of him!]
How, how did something like that just happen?
He wanted a rumble and so did I.
That's not a rumble! That's insanity spelled G-E-E-K! You're such a secretive little cow!
What the fuck?! Can't I sleep with someone now?
That's not someone, he's a mong.
Right, well, I felt like having sex with him. I don't have to ask you!
Yes you do!
What?!
You have to ask me! Katie say-go! Katie say-go! [You have to ask Katie!] Not gay; stupid!
What do you do when someone you love lets you down? Really fucks you over?
You must try to stop loving them.
And is that possible?
[Pause] No, I don't think so.
Katie, I can't stand this. I'm a person. I'm not you.
I know.
You have to understand Katie, I love you and I'll never really leave you but I can't fix this. I like girls. No, I like a girl. No, I love her. Okay? I love... her. [points at Naomi] Okay? [Naomi holds her hand out to Emily]
Okay.
[Emily takes Naomi's hand and they leave the dance]
[Outside]
Some party.
Eventful.
Yeah. [pause] I love you too.
I know.
CSCook Senior
You're too pretty for your own good. That's why you destroy everything you touch.
Look who's talking.
CSCook Senior
I'm Guns N' Roses, love. I got an appetite for destruction.
You're not his dad. Not really.
CSCook Senior
And you're not his girlfriend, not really. You're gonna fucking snap that boy's heart in two.
And you've been doing it to him every day of his life.
ASAnthea Stonem
Are you Effy's friend?
JJJ
I think so. Are you her mum?
[nods] Can I sit? [sits down] JJ, right? The magician?
JJJ
Oh, I used to do magic. Not anymore though.
I used to be married, not anymore though.
[JJ draws a deck of cards from his pocket]
JJJ
Pick a card, any card.
I thought you gave up.
JJJ
Some things are quite hard to let go of.
Effy likes magic.
JJJ
Are you sure?
Well yeah, not the, you know, stupid abracadabra sort... I... I'm so sorry.
JJJ
It's okay. I've come to terms with the facts.
You know, she was four years old the first time she beat me at hide and seek. Four. I was looking for her for hours. When I finally found her she just smiled. You know, that Effy smile that means "you don't know me at all, you never will". See that's a kind of magic. She's so good at concealing things, hiding, avoiding.
JJJ
Yeah.
I do know her. And I know that she has got so much love in her heart. But the thought of letting it out, showing her cards, scares her to death. I never knew it would be possible to miss someone this much.
CCook
[Irritated] You fucking dick! You've lost my dad's boat, Effy... I've got fսck all now, you...
[JJ grabs Cook's hand]
JJJ
This is the Wuxi finger hold. I learnt it in a book of a film.
J, let's just leave it now...
[JJ grabs Freddie's hand]
JJJ
I'm pretty sure if I apply the correct pressure, your eyes pop out.
[in disbelief] J, my eyes aren't going to pop out.
JJJ
Do you really want to take that chance?
[Cook, Freddie, and Effy start giggling]
JJJ
Now let's get down to it. No more evasion. No more "Oooh, I'm so fit and mysterious". Now Freddie: he's in love with you, aren't you Freddie? Aren't you Freddie? [Freddie nods] Cook: he loves you, yes? [Cook looks down] And just for the record, I love you too. And I won the race. So: three boys, one girl. It's an insoluble equation, unless you choose and we can finally get back to our lives.
It's all your fault, you made this happen. You made it all a game first, remember that stupid fucking list?
I know.
"You know?" What sort of fucking answer's that?
The only one I've got.
[to Effy, Cook and JJ] So... what do we do now? [Closing line]
KTKosoke Tomone
Who is that?
Um, hello Kosoke.
KTKosoke Tomone
[to Thomas] You know my rules.
It was too late to get home. We're not gonna, you know, do anything.
KTKosoke Tomone
Like what?
You know...having sex. We're not gonna have sex. We won't do that.
KTKosoke Tomone
No?
Yeah, I mean, uh, well, we have done stuff, um, possibly, possibly, not those, or, well, maybe you could say those.
Okay, maybe you should stop talking now.
Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. [under her breath] Bloody Hell.
KTKosoke Tomone
Someone tell me please where to find a virgin in this country.
[long silence] Uh, well, it's difficult.
Is that the answer for everything? To go and get pissed?
No, Häagen-Dazs is the answer for everything.
AAndrea
Everybody! Jesus says shut up. So, we were just about to sing a song, weren't we? So what shall we sing?
K1Kid 1
Rihanna!
K2Kid 2
Lady Gaga!
K3Kid 3
Béyonce!
AAndrea
Those are all people who can't really sing, don't wear very many clothes, and get married far too young. What do we call those sorts of people?
KKids
Americans!
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