I thought he was special, not retarded special.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
VDVanessa Diaz
You know, lately, I was thinking there was a chance that maybe we could get back together. Boy, do I need my fucking head examined … I can't believe I married a fucking embalmer.
Look at us. You know what we look like?
Homos? [They laugh.]
[to Brenda] What am I supposed to tell her? That her real mommy got pregnant and made me trapped into marrying her while she was fucking her brother-in-law, and then he murdered her because she tried to break it off, and that he might even be her real dad? I just want to spare her that, but I don't have to spare me that.
MMarianne
What's the matter, Claire? Is it Kirsten? Is she being a butt?
Oh no, it's not that, it's just these pantyhose.
MMarianne
Oh. Do you have a run? 'Cause I have a little clear polish you can put on it …
No, no, it's not that. It's just they're squeezing against my entire torso and I feel like I can't even breathe. I mean, none of this work would even seem that hard if I didn't feel like I was sitting in a torture chamber all day.
MMarianne
Maybe you should try a different brand. Mine energize me.
No, it's not the brand. I mean, they're all the same, it's … I mean, I don't understand how having your legs sheathed in this, like, smooth plastic Barbie leg, like, encased in a sausage casing would help you do your job better. I mean, doesn't it seem sexist that it's a regulation only for women?
MMarianne
Men have to wear ties.
Right, but they don't suffocate you … and it's not on their penis.
MMarianne
I'm gonna go wash out some mugs.
SSarah
[to Ruth] You say there's a reason that Grandma lost her legs and there's a reason there's war and tsunamis and there's a reason that George fucking Bush got reelected?
Love isn't something you feel, it's something you do. If the person you're with doesn't want it, do yourself a favor and save it for someone who does.
[singing] Adrift on the water/could it be actually/wearing these clothes/I've never been/this fucking uncomfortable/Never again to wear pantyhose.../'Cause you ride up my thighs/You're tight on my ass/You climb up my crotch/You ruin my day/And fill my soul/You fill my soul with hate/It can't be right/when they feel so tight.../'Cause you and you and you/all of you...
MMarianne
Claire?
[singing] Ride up my thighs.
MMarianne
Claire? Is my music too loud? Do you need me to turn it down?
Oh, yeah, maybe a little. Thanks.
Just leave me alone so I can shrivel up in peace.
[to Brenda] All couples have these types of disagreements. You think I didn't want to abort you and Billy?
MSMaggie Sibley
What's wrong?
[breathing heavily] My arm is numb … [slurs] Numb arm … numb arm … narm! … Narm!
It's perfectly normal to live in a bombshelter!
[to Hiram] Oh, go give yourself a handjob!
[to Rico] Ecotone. It's the area where two ecological worlds overlap. You know, like wilderness and civilization.
[to Maggie] What is this, some Quaker thing? You fuck someone's husband to death, then you bring them a quiche?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Six Feet Under pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.