I hit a new low. I made the bereaved vomit.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[about Jake] If you could do anything, what would you do?
I'd tell him what I think of him and what he did to me, that evil, evil fuck.
Well, you can do that!
I know. I said it all to the therapy pillow.
You're missing the point.
There is no point, that's the point... Isn't it?
Don't give me this phony existential bullshit, I expect better from you. The point's right in front of your face.
Well, I'm sorry but I don't see it.
You aren't even grateful, are you?
Grateful? For the worst fucking experience of my life?
You hang onto your pain like it means something, like it's worth something. Well, let me tell 'ya, it's not worth shit. Let it go. Infinite possibilities, and all he can do is whine.
Well, what am I supposed to do?
What do you think? You can do anything, you lucky bastard, you're alive! What's a little pain compared to that?
It can't be so simple.
[putting his arm around David and pulling him closer] What if it is?
[To Brenda, while talking about their wedding.]I'm glad today sucked, because I wouldn't want the happiest day of our life to be over already, would you?
[to Keith about their appointment with the adoption agency] If we're not on top of our paperwork, Shirley is going to kick our "Gay Daddy" asses into the street.
[Claire walks in on Ruth cleaning the kitchen in the Fisher home.]
Jesus Christ, Mom, will you stop cleaning and talk to me?
No. This isn't the time, and there's nothing to say.
Don't you think that it's significant that whenever I make a decision for myself, you hate me?
I don't hate you, I hate your choices.
Look at me! I am an adult, and my choices are none of your business! You had no right to call that lawyer! Dad loved me. He wanted me to be happy. That's why he left me the money.
He did not intend to finance you while you play house with a crazy person!
Look who's talking!
He wanted you to be educated, to learn, to go to college!
I am learning from life! You don't even know what college is. You never went and that was your choice and now you hate yourself for it, so you're gonna take it out on me!
That is not true!
Then stop being such a controlling bitch and give me my money! [Ruth raises her hand to slap Claire.] I will hit you back this time! Billy and I are moving to Spain, and you can't stop us!
Get out of my house!
[Claire grabs her belongings and leaves.]
[to David] You are such a mom! [They laugh.]
[Claire calls the family lawyer after learning that Ruth froze her trust fund.]
So then I called the bank and they said that there had been no money deposited. Can you fix this, please? I have to get a new camera.
LLawyer
Claire, you're not enrolled in college this quarter.
Who told you that?
LLawyer
Your mother. You should've told me yourself.
I'm taking some time off. So what?
LLawyer
So you can't access the funds. I'm sorry.
I beg your pardon. That is my money. My father gave it to me!
LLawyer
He set up a trust to pay for your education, not to support your lifestyle outside of the classroom.
It is not my lifestyle! It is my life, and I am learning more now than I ever did in that pretentious art barn!
LLawyer
You know you don't inherit free and clear until you're twenty-five. The language is very specific.
This is just like bureaucratic bullshit, and how am I supposed to move to Europe and fucking ripen when you won't even give me my money?
LLawyer
Your mother and I discussed this. We feel that it is in your best interest.
You don't even know me!
[as imagined by Brenda during a family dinner] Quit trying to be some fucking hausfrau, all right? You're a rebel. You're a freak. We're never gonna be a real family no matter what you sauté!
I just feel like all I do, all day long, is just manage myself, try to fuckin' connect with people. But it's like, no matter how much energy you pour into getting to the station on time, or getting on the right train, there's still no fuckin' guarantee that anybody's gonna be there for you to pick you up when you get there.
MMaggie
Well, I know that if you think life is a vending machine, where you put in virtue and you get out happiness, then you're probably gonna be disappointed. I know that.
"Light from a cake is such a great light. We should just live in cakelight" (when they bring in the birthdaycake on Nate's 40st. birthday).
[Nate is looking through a photo album on his 40th birthday.]
The day I turned 40, you were in Europe. I spent the whole day wondering if you'd call.
Sorry.
Oh, don't apologize. You did what you had to do, you little fucker.
You know, so much crazy shit has happened since these pictures were taken. So much. The idea of 40 more years—
The next 40 fly by much faster. It'll be over before you know it.
Time flies when you're having fun, huh?
No, time flies when you're pretending to have fun. Time flies when you're pretending to love Brenda and that baby she wants so much. Time flies when you're pretending to know what people mean when they say "love". Face it, buddy boy, there's two kinds of people in the world: there's you, and there's everybody else, and never the twain shall meet.
[Billy is behaving weirdly at Nate's birthday party.]
Did you stop taking your medication?
Yeah! But that's a good thing.
Why?
Because, Claire... okay, I'm sick of feeling like I am living every moment inside a giant Xeroxed fucking cotton ball.
[Billy and George are talking on the porch. Billy is sneaking a beer.]
So, you stopped taking them? Just like that?
Yep.
How do you feel?
I feel a little tingly. That's about it. What do they got you on these days?
Well, they just switched me from Lithium to Tophranil.
Oh.
In between the shock treatments.
What are those like?
Honestly, I don't know. I go in. They put me on a bed. They give me some oxygen. They say "You're going to feel a little prick in your hand." That always makes me laugh. And then the next thing I know, I wake up with the worst headache I've had in my life.
You think it's helping?
I think that, as Émile Coué used to say, "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better." But not everyone agrees.
Yeah. It's hard to get your shit together with someone watching all the time.
Hm, yeah, it is. But when no one is watching, then where are you? Where the fuck are you then?
Nobody grows up thinking this is the way they're gonna turn out to be. If I could change just by snapping my fingers, I'd do it.
I know you would, George.
I am trying so hard to get better.
And you are.
But not fast enough for you!
You're getting better as fast as you can. I know that.
I am so lucky. I hate that I'm the lucky one. No one's ever lucky to have me. Nobody's ever been lucky to have me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Six Feet Under pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.