[Frank is smoking drugs with a homeless man watching Steve and Debbie coaching Carl's junior gridiron football with Estefania on the phone]
Walked in on my mother and my sixth-grade teacher having sex once. That'll teach you not to play hooky. My mother's nipples were the size of sand dollars. She was on top, riding him. He's underneath, bucking like a horse who knows it's headed for the glue factory. She didn't even tell me to leave the room.
Tell Fiona you're coaching, Jimmy?
Don't you tell her everything for me?
Family first. Those of us with only one name find that easy to remember. Haven't told her about this, because I wasn't sure you were going to show up.
You know, I'm just trying to give back to the community, help some disadvantaged kids learn a great American sport.
[In Portuguese] He's said he's coaching football but no one is using their feet.
Yo. When do we get to tackle?
Soon. Take a knee. All right, boys. Football is all about who wants it more. When you tackle, aim low, hit hard! Who thinks they're man enough to take me down? Huh?
You don't have pads on.
We're just... we're doing a walk-through. Okay? [Carl tackles Steve to the ground] Clean hit. I like it. [All boys laugh]
Oh... [sighs] I wish I'd had a girl coach. I'd totally tap that.
Yeah. I love long hair.
No, no, no. The one with the little brunette pixieish cut. Like a 1963 brunette Mia Farrow. No titties, all ass. Just sit and spin her all night long. Heaven.
I- I think that's a dude.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Shameless quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Shameless pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.