Samantha Jones quotes from Sex and the City

Samantha

Yes, I need glasses, and I'm not ashamed. I have a sexy young man who loves to fuck me, and I'm fabulous.

Miranda

Have you considered putting that on a T-shirt?

Carrie

[about Aleksandr] Yesterday I almost did it with him on a park bench in front of children.

Samantha

What stopped you?

Carrie

Common decency.

Samantha

Oh, that.

Charlotte

I could see it going somewhere.

Carrie

Oh, please, listen, half the time I can't even understand him. We have nothing in common. He's in and out of Europe...

Charlotte

That could be good!

Samantha

Honey, you're not listening. She only wants him to be in and out of her.

Carrie

Yes, but in a much less obvious-sounding way.

Miranda

What I don't understand is, if they got it all, why do you need chemo?

Samantha

[about her doctor] Because he's an asshole.

Carrie

Evidently there can be something microscopic...

Samantha

Like his dick?

Carrie

Excuse me, do you have cancer or Tourette's?

I've been waiting for two days, and so far no one has gotten in yet.

Samantha

I was once told I wouldn't be able to get backstage to see Mick Jagger. Well, I did get backstage—and I blew him.

Charlotte

Smith is not gay.

Miranda

Of course not.

Charlotte

So this makes you his beard.

Samantha

I'm a beard in a wig.

Carrie

[voiceover] For most women, the goal of a dinner party is to have your friends feel comfortable around your boyfriend.

Samantha

I think my maid is using my vibrator.

Carrie

[voiceover] Other times, you wish your friends were not quite so comfortable.

Charlotte

I don't think you're supposed to say "maid" anymore.

Carrie

I don't think we're supposed to say "vibrator" over dinner.

Samantha

I'm telling you, I went into the kitchen to get it—

Miranda

Wait, why was it in the kitchen?

Samantha

I like to mix it up.

Charlotte

I didn't know Lexi had so many friends.

Carrie

Well, she wasn't always so tragic. Remember the '80s? She was the it girl.

Samantha

I thought I was the it girl.

Miranda

Well, it's your word against a dead girl's, so you win.

Carrie

All right, someone say something not sentimental.

Samantha

Chemo might have kicked me into early menopause.

Miranda

Task accomplished.

Samantha

You cannot believe the hot flashes. I can barely keep my clothes on!

Carrie

Really, what was your excuse before the chemo?

Samantha

Oh, I'm gonna miss you, you cunt.

Miranda

Wow, even "cunt" didn't stop her.