Noah Foster quotes from Scream

Noah Foster

It's the age of Instagram, YouTube and Tumblr. I mean, we need to share the things we do or it's like it never happened.

Noah Foster

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful mutual tolerance.

Noah Foster

[finding the killer's hiding place] Holy Dexter's air conditioner!

Noah Foster

Could we just go back to the part where your mom, who wears cardigans and drives an SUV, had a baby with Brandon James?

Kieran's right. The gothic genre is all over TV right now. American Horror Story, Hannibal, Bates Motel.

Jake Fitzgerald

What about Texas Chainsaw or Halloween?

Noah Foster

Those are slasher movies. You can't do a slasher movie as a TV series. [everyones turns to Noah, Mr Branson then motions him to continue]

Noah Foster

Think about it. Girl and her friend arrive at the dance, the camp, deserted town, whatever. Killer takes them out one-by-one. Ninety minutes later, the sun comes up and survivor girl sits in the ambulance watching her friends' bodies being wheeled past.

Riley Marra

It's just crazy that we were talking about slasher movies in Language Arts. And then Nina gets slashed.

Noah Foster

Well technically she was already dead when we started that conversation. So there's no direct correlation.

Noah Foster

Gotta remember that the whodunit may not be as important in our story... You need to figure that it's a horror story, that someone might die at every turn. You have to care if the smokin' hot lit teacher seems a little too interested in his female students. You have to care if the team wins the big game. You have to care if the smart, pretty girl forgives the dumb jock.

Riley Marra

Sounds like Friday Night Lights.

Noah Foster

Exactly. You root for them, you love them, so when they are brutally murdered, it hurts.

Noah Foster

The socially awkward Catholic school film geek is your lesbian lover and I have to find out on YouTube? I call a best friend foul.

Audrey Jensen

I didn't make the video.

Noah Foster

[chuckling] Oh, yeah. Lack of production value made that pretty clear, but if we could just move right on back to the whole lesbian thing.

Audrey Jensen

Okay. Not a lesbian, not discussing it.

Noah Foster

Oh, jeez! You're like a ninja!

Riley Marra

That's racist.

Jake Fitzgerald

Who could resist a murder selfie?

Noah Foster

Which is what the killer is counting on.

Alright Will Graham, what is this killer's design?

Noah Foster

Well, murder is a lonely game, you know. I mean say you're the killer, OK, you sneak into Nina's house, skulk around, scare her and then you kill her. Boom. But then what? Take a victory lap around the pool? You just stand watching the blood spread out in the water, thinking crazy guy stuff.

Brooke Maddox

Creepy monologue alert.

Riley Marra

So maybe it's no good if he's the only one watching.

Noah Foster

Exactly, yeah, uh, it's the age of Instragram, YouTube and Tumblr. I mean we need to share the things we do or it's like it never happened. [Riley gets a text on her phone and takes her phone out to read it]

Riley, phones off.

Riley Marra

Sorry Mr. B. But my friend from St Mary's texted, a girl who goes there died! [everyone is shocked, especially Audrey, who immediately checks her phone]

Brooke Maddox

No way! Who was it?

Jake Fitzgerald

How'd it happen?

Riley Marra

It doesn't say.

I'm sorry to hear that. But why do we get back to...

Audrey Jensen

[while gets up from her seat] I've, uh... [starts to run out of the room and leaves] got to go to the bathroom!

Actually, we could all use a minute.

Audrey Jensen

Drinking on the job is a new thing for you.

Noah Foster

They can't fire me. I'm the only one who knows how to reset the router.

Audrey Jensen

Hey, we could team up: Bi-curious and the Virgin.

Noah Foster

That's the world's saddest crime-fighting duo.

Noah Foster

Holy Christmas! Oh, I knew it. It's a genuine killer's lair.

That's a thing?

Audrey Jensen

Please don't get him started.

Noah Foster

A lair is an extension of the killer's psychosis: the root cellar in Psycho, Kevin Spacey's apartment in Se7en, Hannibal Lecter's kitchen. I mean, every fictional killer has one.

So he's been living here?

Noah Foster

I highly doubt it. No, this looks staged. I mean, you see lairs on TV, not in real life. Take Pretty Little Liars. They're always chock-full of bloody little clues and creepy, unrealistic icons. I mean, seriously, how would 'A' get her hands on four Victorian dolls that look just like the main characters? Where do you shop for that?

Audrey Jensen

Evil American Girl doll store?

Noah Foster

I can't believe you two came here without me.

Yeah, you're right. After you.

Noah Foster

Audrey, you can't just invade a guy's laptop.

Audrey Jensen

Oh, please. He's invading everyone's everything.

Audrey Jensen

Nice resting-creep-face.

Noah Foster

Back atcha.