Last time you did this?
Thirty years ago.
Wow, I'm not even thirty.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
What are you doing anyway?
Just a project that will make humanity eternally grateful. Fixing the hot dog.
You just stamped these satisfactory, you didn't even fill out the comments section.
Yes I did. I wrote "no comment."
The team could use some positive feedback.
Every Friday they get a paycheck. That is their positive feedback.
So you did kiss!
It's not like we enjoyed it.
It was gross!
Come on.
So speeding things up was an option, but you didn't consider it because it could affect you negatively. What about me? Or Happy? Or Tobias Merriweather Curtis Jr.?
Merriweather?
It's a family name.
MDMuseum Director
Scorpion's the only group that will work without insurance coverage.
I've been trying to get them to buy insurance for two years.
Humans need insurance coverage. We're Scorpion; we don't make mistakes.
Genius is hereditary, it's not guaranteed. We could have a Normal. I do not relate well to Normals. Happy neither.
Well, if I can raise a genius child, you can raise a Normal. Trust me, raising a genius child isn't easy; I have five of them.
Look for the light at the end of the tunnel!
Doesn't even know he made a joke.
It's a divorce gift, for your baby.
It's hideous. And heavy.
It's protective! Did you know that on aircraft you're exposed to as much radiation as a chest x-ray?
I'm a genius, I know most things.
Well, what if you're on a plane with Tobias Merriweather Curtis Jr.?
Merriweather?
Yeah, I need to tell you something about my middle name. It's Merriweather.
You said it was Marcus!
You're letting the weight of your emotional baggage crash your Paige plane. You see, you control how you react to this unforeseen development.
Toby, I swear I will stuff my foot in your business like you're a Thanksgiving turkey!
And our session is complete.
What was your hourly private practice rate?
It was $400/hour. Problem was racetrack made $500.
Well here's twenty bucks, you're retained. Patient confidentiality, you cannot tell anyone on the team.
Legally I can't, but I wouldn't anyway if you had just asked. That being said, I'm keeping the twenty.
...
I mean, you have no idea how manipulative she is. One conversation and she has you doubting yourself.
This is not worth twenty dollars.
That's not a lot of time.
Well, there's never enough time.
Speaking of kids, how's my grandson?
TCToby Curtis/Paige Dineen
He's delightful. / None of your business!
I mean none of your business.
There's a GPS killswitch on the engine....I'll try and override it.
When you rented this truck, what did you do?
I said I had a rented truck. I never said I rented a truck. Someone with a credit card ending in 3939 rented it, technically.
Great the credit card company picked up the fraud and the rental place used the GPS to shut down the truck. Thanks, Mom! If millions of people die, it'll be your fault!
How could I know about GPS switches? I've been in prison for six years!
Prison?
Prison?
Prison?
Grandma's a jailbird.
That's your gated community in Arizona?!
On behalf of the United States Government, I am hereby commandeering this Super Fun Guy balloon.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scorpion pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.