Ralph Dineen quotes from Scorpion

Sylvester Dodd

I promised your mother I'd keep you safe.

Paige Dineen

[on comms] What was that? What are you doing that's unsafe?

Ralph Dineen

I'm removing my comms, Mom. Sylvester can't see, so I can't have distractions while driving.

Paige Dineen

What?! Ralph? Sylvester!!

Ralph Dineen

I'd take my comms out, too. She sounded mad.

Sylvester Dodd

[removes ear mic] Oh God, I'm dead.

Ralph Dineen

I can't believe Walter bought us a cotton candy machine!

Walter O'Brien

Yeah, I can't believe it either. But it just got delivered here?

Toby Curtis

I didn't know what was in the box, I just signed for it. Someone must have stolen your credit card number.

Sylvester Dodd

You were mad at Walter, so you charged a bunch of expensive nonsense to the corporate card just to annoy him?

Toby Curtis

Your Super Fun Guy pinball machine arrives tomorrow.

Sylvester Dodd

Sweet.

Paige Dineen

Are you ready for your presentation?

Ralph Dineen

I am. But why'd you have to have Sylvester stay back and watch me?

Paige Dineen

Because he can do software support from the garage, and we won't be back 'til tomorrow, and he doesn't charge, and baby-sitters do. Why? You love Sylvester!

Ralph Dineen

I do. But he's very...enthusiastic.

Sylvester Dodd

[wearing a "GO RALPH!" T-shirt] Packed house! I am so excited for your presentation!

Ralph Dineen

I can see.

Walter O'Brien

Ralph, you need to link your software program to the satelite...it can get us satelite data in real time.

Ralph Dineen

I don't think that's a good idea. My professor failed me.

Walter O'Brien

Who cares? Your professor is a human; you are genius. Now, I have faith in your mind, but if you don't, there is no point in you having your ability.

Walter O'Brien

I used to think that I had the fourth-highest IQ in the world. But now I realize that you have dropped me down to number 5.

Ralph Dineen

That got you upset?

Walter O'Brien

No! No, what upset me was that you were willing to slow down for me, to let me go down the wrong road when that would have hindered you because I couldn't grasp your work. Never hobble your intelligence for anyone. Because if you do that in this garage, imagine what you'll have to do out there. With the humans. The world needs to catch up to you. Because if it can just a little, imagine what a beautiful place it could be.

Happy Quinn

There's a GPS killswitch on the engine....I'll try and override it.

Paige Dineen

When you rented this truck, what did you do?

Veronica Dineen

I said I had a rented truck. I never said I rented a truck. Someone with a credit card ending in 3939 rented it, technically.

Paige Dineen

Great the credit card company picked up the fraud and the rental place used the GPS to shut down the truck. Thanks, Mom! If millions of people die, it'll be your fault!

Veronica Dineen

How could I know about GPS switches? I've been in prison for six years!

Cabe Gallo

Prison?

Walter O'Brien

Prison?

Sylvester Dodd

Prison?

Ralph Dineen

Grandma's a jailbird.

Toby Curtis

That's your gated community in Arizona?!

Ralph Dineen

I like packing. It's like Tetris.

Toby Curtis

Let me guess, Tetris comparison was your idea?

Paige Dineen

Handling geniuses is literally my job description.

Walter O'Brien

Did someone mention Tetris? You know, the geometrical construct of that game has applications in computational complexity theory.

Paige Dineen

Interesting. Why don't you take your bag and go play it with Ralph?

Walter O'Brien

Excellent idea!

Toby Curtis

You're good at your job.

Sylvester Dodd

Hey Ralph, can you help me out with this motor?

Ralph Dineen

I wouldn't be of much service. I'm a bit distracted today.

Toby Curtis

What's wrong, buddy?

Ralph Dineen

Something at school.

Walter O'Brien

Is it physics? Calculus? We can help.

Ralph Dineen

Two girls asked me to the Valentine's Dance.

Sylvester Dodd

We can't help.

Ralph Dineen

I don't know who to pick. I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings.

Walter O'Brien

That's an easy solve. Take them both, alternate dancing with them every other song. Efficient.

Ralph Dineen

I don't think they'll like that very much.

Sylvester Dodd

Ralph, don't stress. The probability of either of these girls being the one is very low. Only 2 percent of childhood sweethearts wind up together.

Paige Dineen

Sweethearts? What are you guys chatting about?

Ralph Dineen

Nothing. Sociology. Ride's here, gotta go.

Paige Dineen

Bye... What just happened here?

Walter O'Brien

Here? Nothing.

Paige Dineen

Does Ralph have a sweetheart?

Toby Curtis

Sorry, can't answer. Bro code.

Sylvester Dodd

Yeah. Bro code. [Paige twists his ear] Ahh! Ralph got asked to the Valentine's Dance by two different girls and he doesn't know what to do!

Paige Dineen

Why wouldn't he come to me with this problem?

Toby Curtis

Yeah, boys love to go to their moms with girl problems.

Walter O'Brien

He trusts us to give sound advice.

Paige Dineen

About girls?! What's next, you guys gonna teach him how to play football?!

Walter O'Brien

That football comment, that was sarcasm right?

Toby Curtis

No, she really thinks you should teach Ralph how to tackle.

Walter O'Brien

I think that was more sarcasm.