Cabe Gallo quotes from Scorpion

Cabe Gallo

Earthquake?

Happy Quinn

No, that was pressure crack from concrete at least 15 feet thick.

Happy Quinn

I know my concrete.

Cabe Gallo

You sure you know what you're doing?

Sylvester Dodd

I am a hypochondriac. I've been taking my own blood pressure since I was nine.

Walter O'Brien

Why is Sylvester administering you medical care?

Cabe Gallo

My doctor says my numbers are up. He wants me to check it every morning.

Paige Dineen

You're in good shape. Why would you have high blood pressure?

Toby Curtis

Happy New Year! I got bagels. throws a bagel and hits Cabe

Cabe Gallo

You were saying?

You actually understand what these guys are saying?

Cabe Gallo

About half, and the rest I take on faith.

Walter O'Brien

Come on, Toby, this is hazelnut creamer!

Toby Curtis

And that's a table, and that's a chair. I'm pretty good at this game.

Walter O'Brien

You wrote "hazelnut" in front of creamer again on the grocery list. I hate hazelnut!

Toby Curtis

People like flavored creamers.

Walter O'Brien

Creamer is a flavor and you could have just written a different item under it.

Toby Curtis

You could just relax. Don't be such a creamer-screamer.

Walter O'Brien

I'm not screaming, though I could very easily if you don't stop that nonsense you've been pulling.

Toby Curtis

Really?

Walter O'Brien

Yes.

Paige Dineen

OK.

Walter O'Brien

Absolutely.

Paige Dineen

OK, this has gotta end.

Walter O'Brien

What does?

Sylvester Dodd

You two fighting constantly lately.

Cabe Gallo

She's right. You two argue like an old married couple.

Walter O'Brien

He's intentionally antagonistic.

Toby Curtis

Actually, I'm half antagonistic, on my mother's side. But my father? One hundred percent oppositional.

Walter O'Brien

Over the past weeks, your antics have gone from petty annoyance to overtly combative.

Toby Curtis

Objection. Inflammatory.

Paige Dineen

Overruled.

Toby Curtis

Objection. You can't make that call. You two are sweet on each other.

Objection!

Toby Curtis

OK, if we're gonna play kangaroo court: I have to go out of pocket to sweeten my java because all we normally have here is regular creamer.

Happy Quinn

That honey is from Kovelsky's, it's free.

Toby Curtis

Immaterial.

Paige Dineen

You know what? You both suck. Your bickering is making everyone miserable.

Sylvester Dodd

Copy that.

Paige Dineen

You're being sent to couple's therapy.

Happy Quinn

Awesome!

Walter O'Brien

What? No.

Toby Curtis

I'm with jerkface.

Paige Dineen

Well, too bad. I manage this ball club.

Cabe Gallo

You heard the judge.

Keep your voice down, I don't want anyone hearin' this.

Cabe Gallo

You kiddin' me?

Toby Curtis

We only heard all of it.

Tim Armstrong

I'm excited to work with a team of geniuses. What are they like?

Cabe Gallo

They're unique.

Walter O'Brien

Toby, you might wanna take your bra off; Cabe's trainee arrives today.

Tim Armstrong

Are they always like this?

Cabe Gallo

No, sometimes they're weird.

Chernobyl power plant. In terms of cost and casualties, worst nuclear accident in history. Now, only a fraction of the cesium in the reactor actually melted down.

Sylvester Dodd

Don't say we're going there, don't say we're going there...

Cabe Gallo

Get your passports.

Sylvester Dodd

I wish I didn't even have a passport.

Happy Quinn

We won't have to go in there thanks to old RANDY here.

Cabe Gallo

Randy?

Happy Quinn

Radiation And Nuclear Deployment Yeoman.

Walter O'Brien

How 'bout VIRGIL? VIrtual Reality Gyroscopic Laborer?

Sylvester Dodd

HOWARD. Humanoid-Out-Wandering-About Radiation Device.

Happy Quinn

Heh heh heh, his name's Randy.

Happy Quinn

Last time you did this?

Cabe Gallo

Thirty years ago.

Happy Quinn

Wow, I'm not even thirty.

Toby Curtis

So speeding things up was an option, but you didn't consider it because it could affect you negatively. What about me? Or Happy? Or Tobias Merriweather Curtis Jr.?

Cabe Gallo

Merriweather?

Toby Curtis

It's a family name.

Walter O'Brien

Look for the light at the end of the tunnel!

Cabe Gallo

Doesn't even know he made a joke.

Happy Quinn

There's a GPS killswitch on the engine....I'll try and override it.

Paige Dineen

When you rented this truck, what did you do?

Veronica Dineen

I said I had a rented truck. I never said I rented a truck. Someone with a credit card ending in 3939 rented it, technically.

Paige Dineen

Great the credit card company picked up the fraud and the rental place used the GPS to shut down the truck. Thanks, Mom! If millions of people die, it'll be your fault!

Veronica Dineen

How could I know about GPS switches? I've been in prison for six years!

Cabe Gallo

Prison?

Walter O'Brien

Prison?

Sylvester Dodd

Prison?

Ralph Dineen

Grandma's a jailbird.

Toby Curtis

That's your gated community in Arizona?!

Happy Quinn

She was begging you to take her to that Italian joint!

Cabe Gallo

No, I'm pretty sure that was just a conversation between two adults.

Paige Dineen

Alright adults, let's hit it. Cabe, she wanted you to ask her out. You suck at girls.

Walter O'Brien

In the wake of Tim's recent departure, it was made clear to me that my decision-making could be a bit--

Happy Quinn

Tyrannical.

Walter O'Brien

I was going to say unilateral. But your input is heard, and appreciated.

Toby Curtis

Overcompensation by way of agreeability and inclusion. Got it.

Walter O'Brien

Wrong! But appreciated. Anyway, we're a team, everyone's feelings should be heard, not just mine.

Cabe Gallo

Anyone who graduated middle school knows the conch method. It's from Lord of the Flies.

Toby Curtis

You know this'll flame out when you eventually snap like a rubber band. Being genial isn't your nature.

Walter O'Brien

Wrong! But appreciated.