Sylvester Dodd quotes from Scorpion

Sylvester Dodd

Ahem. Would your guest like some fruit?

Drew Baker

Excuse me?

Paige Dineen

He's fine! We don't want fruit!

Toby Curtis

Come on, Babe Ruth, take a peach.

Drew Baker

No, thank you.

What's that?

Sylvester Dodd

That is Proton Arnold.

Cabe Gallo

Unplug it.

Sylvester Dodd

OK.

I think what Cabe means to say is, "I told my ex-wife what a great team I work with, smartest I'll ever meet."

Paige Dineen

You're a Cabe Whisperer! I do the same for them.

Megan O'Brien

I thought you guys were geniuses. Someone say something smart.

Paige Dineen

Hi, Megan, I'm Paige. They were just playing a spirited game of--

Toby Curtis

Move Sylvester's Stuff Around.

Paige Dineen

Yeah, so they're a little out of it. [pause] Guys, this is when you introdu--

Sylvester Dodd

Yes, OK. Hello, Megan. Nice to meet you. Walter's told me so much about you.

Megan O'Brien

No, he hasn't.

Sylvester Dodd

No, he hasn't.

Toby Curtis

Hey. Dr. Tobias M. Curtis. It's a pleasure.

Happy Quinn

Hey. I'm Happy.

Megan O'Brien

And I'm dying, but you don't see me telling everyone.

Toby Curtis

Yes! Inappropriate self-deprecating humor to put others at ease. I like your approach.

Megan O'Brien

I like your hat.

Megan O'Brien

What are you afraid of, Sylvester?

Sylvester Dodd

Everything.

Paige Dineen

Sylvester?

Sylvester Dodd

Yep?

Paige Dineen

Any reason you won't make eye contact with me?

Sylvester Dodd

Yes. I'm uncomfortable because we eavesdropped.

Toby Curtis

Way to stay strong, Sly.

Happy Quinn

It was Toby's idea.

Toby Curtis

You guys fold like a card table.

Happy Quinn

Touch it and you will have a blue Christmas.

Toby Curtis

I helped, too!

Happy Quinn

Walter designed it. Sylvester calculated it. I built it. What was your job?

Toby Curtis

Moral support.

Sylvester Dodd

Toby, a few weeks ago I was in a hospital getting shrapnel taken out of my chest, and I still did more work for this project than you did.

Toby Curtis

Grinch.

Happy Quinn

I can't believe this was online for seven years and you never said anything about it.

Sylvester Dodd

The fashion is unflattering and the dance is derivative.

Happy Quinn

Who's gonna be Marvin?

Cabe Gallo

Well, Interpol's still doing a background on Sima, but there's no question she's probably dangerous. So I'll do it.

Walter O'Brien

No, you're Homeland, you're former FBI. She could have intel on our agents. We can't risk her ID'ing you.

Toby Curtis

Sylvester can't do it, he's a nervous wreck, he'd barf all over her.

Sylvester Dodd

I would.

Toby Curtis

I guess I'll have to do it. I just hope she doesn't fall in love with me, too.

Cabe Gallo

No. Intel indicates that she probably works alone, but we can't be too careful. We need someone to profile the crowd in that bar and make sure she has no collaborators.

Paige Dineen

So we're down to Walter? Am I the only person who just heard that phone call?

Walter O'Brien

Oh, I learned a lot from that exchange!

Paige Dineen

After hearing your performance on the phone, you're gonna need help. I'll be your Cyrano.

Walter O'Brien

The story of the guy with rhinophyma, the large nose disease.

Paige Dineen

You missed the whole love story?!

Walter O'Brien

I was focused on his medical condition.

Cabe Gallo

Hey! How come a bunch of geniuses can't answer a phone?!

Sylvester Dodd

I don't carry my phone on me. Radiation.

Happy Quinn

I was welding.

Paige Dineen

Mine's in my bag.

Walter O'Brien

Couldn't hear it over the rocket.

Cabe Gallo

Of course. And what about you, Doc?

Toby Curtis

I keep mine off; I owe a bookie.

Sylvester Dodd

I'm pretty sure I just committed at least three felonies. I've seen Shawshank; I know what they do to guys like me in the big house.

Toby Curtis

D-Block Prom Queen.

Cabe Gallo

We have to prevent these guys from transmitting any communications from this ranch....We can't let 'em know we muzzled 'em.

Walter O'Brien

They won't. They'll think their messages are being received because Sylvester will respond, posing as their associates.

Sylvester Dodd

Remember back at the garage when I said I was uncomfortable with deception?

Walter O'Brien

Uh huh.

Cabe Gallo

Uh huh.

Happy Quinn

Mm hmm.

Sylvester Dodd

Still uncomfortable.

Sylvester Dodd

Probability theory dictates that one cannot predict the future with any absolute certainty. But this is an exception. There is zero chance that she will accept your apology.

Toby Curtis

I'm not gonna apologize. I'm gonna grovel.

Sylvester Dodd

Understood, but still, there's a high likelihood that she will throw something at you.

Cabe Gallo

Alright kids, if you need to hit the head, now's the time, because we're not stopping once we hit the road.

Sylvester Dodd

You know you're not our dad, right?

Cabe Gallo

Stop acting like kids, I'll stop acting like your dad.

Paige Dineen

You are not Normal. Who besides these guys computes tire tread on wheels they've seen for a split second?

Happy Quinn

And you knew to the inch where the supplies would be for my urinal-cake cannon.

Toby Curtis

Your what now?

Sylvester Dodd

You corrected me on the number of bullets fired by Hector and Jorge, and no one corrects me when it comes to math. But you were right.

I'm good with numbers.

Sylvester Dodd

When you watch a pinwheel, can you replay it in your mind in slow motion to count the revolutions?

Only when I'm bored.

Walter O'Brien

Yeah, you're a genius. I'm guessing 1-6-4 with a specialty in visual inferential mathematics. You can record and compute what you see.

Paige Dineen

Now, that explains the low EQ.

What the hell is a low EQ?!

Toby Curtis

That.

Walter O'Brien

The unmanned X-24G spacecraft!

Whoa, that's a top-secret spy shuttle! How do you even know about that?

Sylvester Dodd

That jet's the worst kept secret in the Air Force. Multiple blogs follow it.