Paige Dineen quotes from Scorpion

What's that?

Sylvester Dodd

That is Proton Arnold.

Cabe Gallo

Unplug it.

Sylvester Dodd

OK.

I think what Cabe means to say is, "I told my ex-wife what a great team I work with, smartest I'll ever meet."

Paige Dineen

You're a Cabe Whisperer! I do the same for them.

Megan O'Brien

I thought you guys were geniuses. Someone say something smart.

Paige Dineen

Hi, Megan, I'm Paige. They were just playing a spirited game of--

Toby Curtis

Move Sylvester's Stuff Around.

Paige Dineen

Yeah, so they're a little out of it. [pause] Guys, this is when you introdu--

Sylvester Dodd

Yes, OK. Hello, Megan. Nice to meet you. Walter's told me so much about you.

Megan O'Brien

No, he hasn't.

Sylvester Dodd

No, he hasn't.

Toby Curtis

Hey. Dr. Tobias M. Curtis. It's a pleasure.

Happy Quinn

Hey. I'm Happy.

Megan O'Brien

And I'm dying, but you don't see me telling everyone.

Toby Curtis

Yes! Inappropriate self-deprecating humor to put others at ease. I like your approach.

Megan O'Brien

I like your hat.

Drew Baker

[whispers] So, um, I just wanted to ask you something.

Paige Dineen

[normal voice] Oh, I've seen these guys build a parabolic mic out of an umbrella. If they're gonna listen, they're gonna listen.

Paige Dineen

Sylvester?

Sylvester Dodd

Yep?

Paige Dineen

Any reason you won't make eye contact with me?

Sylvester Dodd

Yes. I'm uncomfortable because we eavesdropped.

Toby Curtis

Way to stay strong, Sly.

Happy Quinn

It was Toby's idea.

Toby Curtis

You guys fold like a card table.

Toby Curtis

You look frazzled.

Paige Dineen

Thank you.

Toby Curtis

Grumpy, too.

Paige Dineen

Sorry, I didn't sleep. I had a weird dream.

Walter O'Brien

About what?

Paige Dineen

[hiding the fact that the dream was about Walter] I don't remember the details.

Walter O'Brien

Not surprising. Our brains often protect us from disturbing dreams by suppressing our memories of them.

Paige Dineen

What does it mean when you remember a dream vividly?

Walter O'Brien

Means that we enjoyed it.

Toby Curtis

Anyone here recently lost a lot of weight, trying to look good for someone?

Tim, Leonard, and Susan have all dropped some weight.

Paige Dineen

Any vacation days? Especially Fridays and Mondays?

Walter O'Brien

What would that indicate?

Paige Dineen

Romantic three-day weekends. Ever had one?

Walter O'Brien

Kind of. She left after one day.

Happy Quinn

Who's gonna be Marvin?

Cabe Gallo

Well, Interpol's still doing a background on Sima, but there's no question she's probably dangerous. So I'll do it.

Walter O'Brien

No, you're Homeland, you're former FBI. She could have intel on our agents. We can't risk her ID'ing you.

Toby Curtis

Sylvester can't do it, he's a nervous wreck, he'd barf all over her.

Sylvester Dodd

I would.

Toby Curtis

I guess I'll have to do it. I just hope she doesn't fall in love with me, too.

Cabe Gallo

No. Intel indicates that she probably works alone, but we can't be too careful. We need someone to profile the crowd in that bar and make sure she has no collaborators.

Paige Dineen

So we're down to Walter? Am I the only person who just heard that phone call?

Walter O'Brien

Oh, I learned a lot from that exchange!

Paige Dineen

After hearing your performance on the phone, you're gonna need help. I'll be your Cyrano.

Walter O'Brien

The story of the guy with rhinophyma, the large nose disease.

Paige Dineen

You missed the whole love story?!

Walter O'Brien

I was focused on his medical condition.

Cabe Gallo

Hey! How come a bunch of geniuses can't answer a phone?!

Sylvester Dodd

I don't carry my phone on me. Radiation.

Happy Quinn

I was welding.

Paige Dineen

Mine's in my bag.

Walter O'Brien

Couldn't hear it over the rocket.

Cabe Gallo

Of course. And what about you, Doc?

Toby Curtis

I keep mine off; I owe a bookie.

Happy Quinn

Not sure where we are, but I know it's nowhere near the reptile sanctuary.

Paige Dineen

Now what, hitchhike?

Happy Quinn

I'm not showing leg!

Walter O'Brien

No, there's no time to hitchhike. [pause] Happy, I hear a truck. Quick! Punch me in the nose.

Happy Quinn

Finally.

Walter O'Brien

[groans] Good job.

Paige Dineen

You are not Normal. Who besides these guys computes tire tread on wheels they've seen for a split second?

Happy Quinn

And you knew to the inch where the supplies would be for my urinal-cake cannon.

Toby Curtis

Your what now?

Sylvester Dodd

You corrected me on the number of bullets fired by Hector and Jorge, and no one corrects me when it comes to math. But you were right.

I'm good with numbers.

Sylvester Dodd

When you watch a pinwheel, can you replay it in your mind in slow motion to count the revolutions?

Only when I'm bored.

Walter O'Brien

Yeah, you're a genius. I'm guessing 1-6-4 with a specialty in visual inferential mathematics. You can record and compute what you see.

Paige Dineen

Now, that explains the low EQ.

What the hell is a low EQ?!

Toby Curtis

That.

Toby Curtis

Why's the kid in a monkey suit?

Paige Dineen

Picture day. So cute, he wanted to pick the outfit himself.

Toby Curtis

You don't see what's goin' on there?

Paige Dineen

No.

Toby Curtis

Hey, Ralphie boy, could you do Uncle Toby a favor and take off that jacket, you don't wanna get grease on it.

Happy Quinn

You better roll up those sleeves too, buddy, just to be safe.

Toby Curtis

Congratulations. You're raising Walter.

Paige Dineen

Oh God.

Cabe Gallo

Who's Jackson Wyles?

Ralph Dineen

Nobody.

Cabe Gallo

There's two identical math sheets, one with your name on it, one with his.

Paige Dineen

Ralph, why are you doing someone's homework for them?

Ralph Dineen

To avoid injury.

Sylvester Dodd

That's a good reason

Cabe Gallo

Son, you can't let yourself get bullied. You gotta stand up for yourself. You know how to fight?

Paige Dineen

He's not fighting.

Cabe Gallo

That's the problem--he should be. Knock Jackson Wyles on his ass.

Happy Quinn

Nothing stops a punk faster than a shot right to the snout.

Paige Dineen

Thanks for the advice, but no.

Cabe Gallo

I got an idea.

Paige Dineen

Ralph, don't worry. I'm gonna set up a meeting with your principal and this Jackson Wyles' parents.

Sylvester Dodd

Involving the bully's parents might be poking the bear. Ralph, how fast can you run?

Paige Dineen

He's not going to run away. He's going to face his problems.

Toby Curtis

His problem is probably twice his size and skilled at wedgies and rear admirals.

Ralph Dineen

And the dreaded covered wagon.

Sylvester Dodd

Maybe he shouldn't be wearing underwear.

Paige Dineen

What?! I appreciate everyone's concern, but none of you are his mom.

Ralph Dineen

I can handle this.

Walter O'Brien

You can handle what? Everything OK, Ralph?

Paige Dineen

Some kid's making Ralph do his homework for him.

Walter O'Brien

Good, that is the perfect reason for Ralph to leave that school. He is smarter than everyone there, including the teachers. The guys and I will homeschool him from here.

Paige Dineen

Worst idea yet.

I think Toby's right. He's always right, or my name isn't Paige Dineen.

Toby Curtis

Tweaked Walt's voice-adaptation software. It'll record the basic tone of anyone's voice, then it perfectly mimics whatever you type in.... And it is clearly not the time to unveil it.

Paige Dineen

Thank God, this conversation's over. Sweetheart, I want you to avoid that boy today, and I'm gonna call Principal Pastorneck.

Ralph Dineen

Don't, I can handle this. Just give me one day?

Paige Dineen

Ok. Love you.

Sylvester Dodd

Stay strong.

Cabe Gallo

Hey, where you goin' kid? I just got the heavy bag up!

Ralph Dineen

I gotta go; you can teach me to hit people later.

Walter O'Brien

Your record's been input into the system: psychotic serial killer, sadism, torture, multiple counts. We just need a name for this psychopath.

Paige Dineen

Jackson Wyles.

Paige Dineen

You have to get it before 9:45, because Toby says it takes 15 minutes for the drugs to kick in, and you have to be dead before Ten-Ton comes to kill you.

Sylvester Dodd

I can't believe that sentence makes sense.

Toby Curtis

Holy TV stars!

[on TV] I'm here with Ralph Dineen. Hi Ralph!

Ralph Dineen

[on TV] Hello.

Paige Dineen

Ralph get in here!

[on TV] Ralph, I understand you've just been accepted to Harvard, MIT, Caltech, to name a few. Not bad for a 10-year-old. How did this happen?

Ralph Dineen

[on TV] I applied.

[on TV] Really, does your mom--

Ralph Dineen

Now I'm a celebrity at school. Kids don't pick on celebrities.

Walter O'Brien

He's right. I mean, this was an efficient plan involving zero confrontation.

Paige Dineen

I never signed off on TV interviews.

Of course you can speak to my son Ralph, I'm so proud of him.

Walter O'Brien

I've been saying for months that Ralph needs to ditch that school.

Ralph Dineen

I'm staying in elementary school. If I can't relate to humans, I'll turn out like you guys.