Walter O&#039;Brien quotes from Scorpion

It astounds me that I have to remind you all that I had a medical degree from Harvard before most people had their drivers licenses.

Walter O'Brien

Oh, really? You went to Harvard? You hardly ever mention it.

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Walter O'Brien

You recognize that gun? The motion sensor is calibrated to not shoot anything before the door. But it will take out anything that moves on the other side of it.

Unfortunately, that's the side you're on.

I improved your gun. You so much as move a trigger finger, you're dead.

...

Walter O'Brien

Now, I put a 24-hour battery on the motion sensor, so for your sake, I hope that you and your men are disciplined.

Now remember: Your nose does not itch.

Walter O'Brien

Toby!

Coming.

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We have to prevent these guys from transmitting any communications from this ranch....We can't let 'em know we muzzled 'em.

Walter O'Brien

They won't. They'll think their messages are being received because Sylvester will respond, posing as their associates.

Remember back at the garage when I said I was uncomfortable with deception?

Walter O'Brien

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Mm hmm.

Still uncomfortable.

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Not sure where we are, but I know it's nowhere near the reptile sanctuary.

Now what, hitchhike?

I'm not showing leg!

Walter O'Brien

No, there's no time to hitchhike. [pause] Happy, I hear a truck. Quick! Punch me in the nose.

Finally.

Walter O'Brien

[groans] Good job.

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You kept [the ferret]?

Walter O'Brien

It saved my life. Least I could do was save it from becoming a snake's lunch. Toby named it Ferret Bueller. I don't understand the reference.

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I've been collecting data on your shifting behavior patterns the past few months, and the result is an ironclad theorem that proves you have feelings for Paige.

Walter O'Brien

[laughs] That's preposterous.

Said the climate-change denier in the face of scientific evidence. While you're at it, how about you get no vaccines today? You wanna take this for a spin? Remember the reservation you made for a Valentine's Day "work dinner"?

Walter O'Brien

We never ended up having a meal.

OK, how about the new lavender diffuser in your office?

Walter O'Brien

That is to mask the smell of experiment-generated mouse urine.

That's disgusting. But also a lie. Pagie loves lavender; that handcream of hers is always stinkin' up the van. Finally: Coffee arabica....You put cinnamon in our pot here.

Walter O'Brien

It has anti-oxidants and improves brain function.

Cinnamon's for elves.

...

Walter O'Brien

And how old are you?

Thirteen months older than you, so show your elders respect.

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You are not Normal. Who besides these guys computes tire tread on wheels they've seen for a split second?

And you knew to the inch where the supplies would be for my urinal-cake cannon.

Your what now?

You corrected me on the number of bullets fired by Hector and Jorge, and no one corrects me when it comes to math. But you were right.

MHMaya Hernandez

I'm good with numbers.

When you watch a pinwheel, can you replay it in your mind in slow motion to count the revolutions?

MHMaya Hernandez

Only when I'm bored.

Walter O'Brien

Yeah, you're a genius. I'm guessing 1-6-4 with a specialty in visual inferential mathematics. You can record and compute what you see.

Now, that explains the low EQ.

MHMaya Hernandez

What the hell is a low EQ?!

That.

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How long until we ditch this weasel?

Walter O'Brien

What you don't like pets?

I wasn't talking about the ferret.

How long are you gonna punish me for sleeping through our date?

What's your life span?

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Walter O'Brien

The unmanned X-24G spacecraft!

DADirector Adriana Molina

Whoa, that's a top-secret spy shuttle! How do you even know about that?

That jet's the worst kept secret in the Air Force. Multiple blogs follow it.

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Walter O'Brien

How long would it take you to make an EMP device?

Fast enough. I just need to get my hands on some microwave ovens.

...

DADirector Adriana Molina

Microwave ovens?

Well, how would you build an EMP?

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Walter O'Brien

Oh, that's a wrinkle.

[listening on comms] What did he say?

"That's a wrinkle"?

What's a wrinkle?

Walter's parachute lands on the ground next to Cabe, Happy, and Toby.

Oh, that's a wrinkle.

Not good.

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There's a good chance Zoric is gonna be armed; you ready for this?

Walter O'Brien

No.

Alright, then I'll go first.

Guys, remember, Ernesto might by deaf, but Zoric is not. You need to be completely silent, or else he'll know someone's in there with him.

Good point, Professor Obvious. Walter, also remember: We're in Cuba, and the Earth is round.

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Who's Jackson Wyles?

Nobody.

There's two identical math sheets, one with your name on it, one with his.

Ralph, why are you doing someone's homework for them?

To avoid injury.

That's a good reason

Son, you can't let yourself get bullied. You gotta stand up for yourself. You know how to fight?

He's not fighting.

That's the problem--he should be. Knock Jackson Wyles on his ass.

Nothing stops a punk faster than a shot right to the snout.

Thanks for the advice, but no.

I got an idea.

Ralph, don't worry. I'm gonna set up a meeting with your principal and this Jackson Wyles' parents.

Involving the bully's parents might be poking the bear. Ralph, how fast can you run?

He's not going to run away. He's going to face his problems.

His problem is probably twice his size and skilled at wedgies and rear admirals.

And the dreaded covered wagon.

Maybe he shouldn't be wearing underwear.

What?! I appreciate everyone's concern, but none of you are his mom.

I can handle this.

Walter O'Brien

You can handle what? Everything OK, Ralph?

Some kid's making Ralph do his homework for him.

Walter O'Brien

Good, that is the perfect reason for Ralph to leave that school. He is smarter than everyone there, including the teachers. The guys and I will homeschool him from here.

Worst idea yet.

TP[Toby plays a recording in Paige's voice]

I think Toby's right. He's always right, or my name isn't Paige Dineen.

Tweaked Walt's voice-adaptation software. It'll record the basic tone of anyone's voice, then it perfectly mimics whatever you type in.... And it is clearly not the time to unveil it.

Thank God, this conversation's over. Sweetheart, I want you to avoid that boy today, and I'm gonna call Principal Pastorneck.

Don't, I can handle this. Just give me one day?

Ok. Love you.

Stay strong.

Hey, where you goin' kid? I just got the heavy bag up!