Fred quotes from Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

We can't let that thing get away!

Shaggy

Sure we can, Fred! All we have to do is stand right here!

Yeah, stand right here!

There's a book over here. Daphne read a book once. And that chair, Daphne liked to sit in chairs. And that card catalogue over there -

Velma

Not helping, Fred.

I know. What's wrong with me?

Shaggy

Like, we've got him!

Velma

Good going! But how did you find your way out?

(sniffing) Clam cones.

Velma

You were saved by junk food?

Shaggy

Like, what can I say? Junk food and me have a very special relationship.

Velma

Maybe I should ask it for advice.

Speaking of clam cones, I see Skipper Shelton isn't around again. Or are you, Skipper? (unmasks the Man Crab)

(arrives) Ah, back from the Laundromat, I am. And once more does me nose-hammock smell fresh as the morning tide.

Daphne

Wait, if you're not the Man Crab, then who...?

Velma

Everyone, meet Bud Shelton. (grabs Bud's head out of Man Crab disguise)

Who?

Velma

The Trickell's Triquid mascot.

And the inventor, not that dirtball, Trickell.

Shaggy

Like, how did you know, Velma?

Velma

I knew it wasn't a real crab because Daphne never got allergic when she was around it. Plus, when I saw the mole pattern on the cheek of man next to Trickell in the newspaper, I remembered the same pattern on the mascot.

He took the credit for my creation. It was supposed to be called Bud's Bloosh. I was still working on the name. I spent countless hours making the Man Crab costume and even more time building my system of trap doors and stairs under the beach. And in case anyone came snooping in between kidnappings, I hid my costume in a locker big enough to hold it, putting a label with Skipper's name on it over the real label. So if anyone found it, they'd blame him.

Daphne

All that work just to get back at Mr. Trickell? Wouldn't it have been easier and-- more legal to sue him?

Are you kidding? Lawyers take forever. I would have succeeded, too, if it weren't for you meddling brats probing into my crustacean-themed revenge scheme.

Well, "almost" doesn't shuck the clam, (to Scooby) does it, wolfie?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

The peoples have long told the tale of Qué Horrífico. A normal man by day, but every sundown he changes into Qué Horrífico. He roams through the villages and plays his song of mystery on a pan flute, turning the childrens into... Terriblegatos!

In America, we call it 'getting spookified'.

That is good enough, thank you. Eventually, he takes them to his spooky town, or cave or something. There's a lot of debate on that, who can really know.

Fred Jones, Jr. You were supposed to meet me in the library for your civics tutoring.

Mary Anne, I can't. I have something important I need to do.

What could possibly be more important than civics?

Daphne

This is nice.

Watch it, Daphne! Remember, we're married; don't look so happy!

Velma

It's almost sunset. We'd better get inside.

Right. (loudly) Come, two young children, it's bedtime! Grandma's gonna tell you a story!

Shaggy

Oh goodie!

Quick, get inside.

Aren't you going to tell us a story?

Velma

Yes, The End. Now shh.

Mayor Jones

What in the name of whole wheat toast is going on?

We got him, dad.

You mean her.

Mary Anne Gleardan.

Mayor Jones

Your tutor? But why?

I was trying to scare all the adults out of Crystal Cove so I could run the city my way. (hocking) (to Fred) I told you, I have brilliant ideas. (to everyone) With all the adults gone, there's be no one to stand in my way. I learned about the legend of Qué Horrífico in Dr. Portillo's honors class. It was the perfect solution. I used the high school's theater department for my costume. I went to every kindergarten and elementary school in the city to convince the children to pretend to be spookified. In return I offered them Utopia! When that didn't work, I offered them candy. Whenever the children heard me playing the pan flute, that was their signal to put on their fake hair and fangs and commence spookification. I almost had the whole town cleared of adults. I would have, too, if it weren't for you (speaks latin)

Huh?

(sighs) Loosely translated it means "Meddlesome kids" in latin.

I'm going home. I miss my mom and dad. (The other kids say goodbyes and walk into their homes) By the way, this was lame. (Sheriff Stone handcuffs Mary Anne)

Wait, you're taking me to jail?! But I'm just a kid!

Sheriff Stone

Do you know how many boxes we're stuck with of Qué Horrífico t-shirts, Qué Horrífico pamphlets, Qué Horrífico dance CDs, Qué Horrífico--?

Okay, okay. I see your point.

Daphne

I'm telling you, she's up to something!

C'mon, Daphne. So, Alice was using the shower and hanging out in the school basement late at night. Haven't we all?

Daphne

What if Alice is the ghost girl the Sheriff mentioned? You could be in danger, Fred.

Don't you think I'd know if she were a ghost girl?

Velma

I'd be willing to bet... no.

Yeah, me too.

Shaggy

Yeah, like, what do we really know about Alice?

You mean, besides the fact that she's super nice, and her hair smells like peaches, and sometimes I get lost in her eyes, and -

Daphne

Fred Jones, do you like this girl?

(points at his "watch") Wow, look at the time.

Daphne

You're not wearing a watch, Freddie.

Oh. Well, I'd better go find one, then!

Don't touch me!

Mayor Jones

(arrives with Sheriff Stone) Hazy fantasie, Fred. Didn't you hear me when I said, "if you see a ghost girl, do not go to the prom with her".?

Don't worry, dad. She may look like a ghost girl, but in reality she's... (unmasks the ghost girl) Alice May. Or she's also known as...

Alice Carlswell.

Sheriff Stone

Carlswell? As in Deacon Carlswell? The Creeper?

That is right. He was my father. When daddy was in prisoned, I vowed revenge on those who put him there. I used his old costume to construct my own. When I found the legend of the evil ghost girl online, I was ready to spring my trap. I grabbed that fool Randy to throw you all off the track. And I kept him hidden and fed in my father's crypt until I could let him go. After that, it was just a matter of getting rid of your precious leader, and Fred. I'm going to zap your gang the way you feeded my father. And I would have succeeded, too, if it weren't for you meddling... schoolmates... of mine.

Perfect! Daphne's our phantom bait.

Daphne

Oh, this is so exciting - wait. Bait?

Daphne. Now. I need to talk to her.

Daphne

(dressed as crush) Daphne's gone. Call me Crush.

Darn it, lady, I'm serious! Where is she?

Daphne

Urgh, Fred. It's me, okay?

Uh... oh. I need to tell you something and I need you to listen. I'm not a guy anymore.

Daphne

What?

I have feelings! I care!

Mayor Jones

(arrives with Sheriff Stone) Bug-eyed biscuits, Fred. Couldn't you have waited until after the show to catch the phantom?

Sorry, dad. Not with Daphne in danger. (unmasks the phantom)

Daniel Frizette?

Shaggy

Or, like, should we call you Fantzee Pantz?

Fantzee Pantz?

Doth my eye shadow deceive? How did you know?

The villain had to be someone close to the Hex Girls to access the stage.

Shaggy

And the Hex Girls' equipment.

And their bus.

Velma

Someone with a grudge against the Hex Girls.

The Hex Girls took my career. I tried to get revenge by writing bad songs for them, but they can make anything a hit. So, I became the phantom. And I'd do it again if it weren't for the uncanny boy band knowledge of you meddling brats!

Sheriff Stone

Let's go.

Now let's see who you really are. (unmasks the Gnome)

(gasp) The Court Fool? Uh-Oh.

That's my husband, Gill Littlefoot! What did you think you were doing, fool? (hits Gill with her staff)

What I've wanted to do for years: Frame you for the gnome attacks. And once you were out of the way, take your fortune for my own. (Amanda hits him again) Ow! Will you stop that?

Velma

But you're too tall. How could you ever be the gnome?

There's a reason our family name is Littlefoot. (takes off the gnome disguise to reveal his real size) (Everyone gasp) I planned this over a year. And while I've always hid my tiny legs, this finally provided me a way to make them useful. Since Amanda's dislike of pirates was well known, I planted her earring on a victim, hoping to throw suspicion her way. I used my toxin-coated gloves to paralyze all the pirates, but you would not quit. The beautiful part is that because of my--

Sheriff Stone

I believe the medical term is baby legs.

No one would have ever suspected me. That is, until you, meddling, gnome-hating, pirate-loving--

Sheriff Stone

Yeah, yeah, Shrimpo, we got the picture.

(annoyed) All these years, you've looked down on me. Now it turns out I'm actually taller than you. (hits Gill again with her staff)

Ow!

Sheriff Stone

Let's go, little footy. (laughs)

Mayor Jones

Boy, I had big plans for him! Thanks for nothing-- again.

Anytime, pop.

Sheriff Stone

What's going on? I heard what sounded like some sort of hideous, undying machine in here.

Daphne

We've solved the mystery of the Fright Hound.

And your culprit is... (opens the hood of the mysterious person)

Jason's mom?

That's right, it was me all along. I saw how you treated my Jason at school. So naturally I did what any mother would do. I built a demonic robot dog to destroy you! I framed your little doggy friend to break you up, leaving Jason a clear shot at his true love. But when you showed up and blamed him of all things, I decided to GET RID OF YOU ALL! I gave up a career in military robotics to raise my son, not to watch him get triped on!

Now Velma will never want to be my girlfriend. And she would have, too, if it weren't for my meddling mom!

Velma

I'm sorry, Jason. I should have been clearer with you earlier. But you and me, it's just not gonna happen. But we can still be friends.

Really?

Velma

Yeah. You took that very well.

And you touched my knuckle again. Ha ha! (kisses his fingers)

Aaahh! Let me go! I'll drain you all!

Daphne

Mom! Your vampiring is tearing this family apart! I'm sorry, but you've left me no choice. I'm going to have to stake you.

Wait! I'm not a vampire! I'm-- (unmasks herself)

Sheila Altoonian.

Daphne

But why?

Isn't it obvious? My looks are starting to fade.

Shaggy

No. You're gorgeous.

No. Your skin is as tight as my ascot.

This is all your mother's fault. We're the same age, but she's so beautiful. She has the skin of a teenager. That's when I realized she must be a vampire. I went to the Dinkley Shop to do a little research and found the recipe for the youth juice. That potion was gonna make me young and beautiful forever. You see, in college I majored in zoology and acrobatics, studying the habits of flying squirrels. I propelled myself into the air with my quad and glute muscles. All this gave me the illusion of a real flying Vampire.

Daphne

Why didn't you just try maybe wearing a little less makeup? Or a cuter haircut? Or use tape to pull back all your wrinkly sacks of. (grabs her cheeks with hands) You know, age gracefully.

Age gracefully? Are you crazy? No, the Vampire serum was my only hope. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling--

What's going on here?

Daphne

Mom!

Even now, she's stealing my moment.

Daphne

I'm so glad you're not an undead creature of darkness.

Thanks, honey.

Daphne

But what are you doing here? Why have you been sneaking out?

I didn't want to say anything, but I've been taking night classes. I'm getting my public notary degree!

Velma

Oh, how exciting.

Shaggy

What an opportunity.

You know, I may be outrageously gorgeous, but knowledge, knowledge is the key to true beauty. Well, I better get going. I have to figure out what a notary is before tomorrow's final exam. (laughs)