A character in Scarecrow and Mrs. King
Played by Bruce Boxleitner
Scarecrow and Mrs. King · 230 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Scarecrow and Mrs. King: in 153 of its 230 quotes
Most scenes with: Amanda (116), Francine Desmond (20), Billy Melrose (17)
LeeWell, ha ha, there you are, you sly boots. I thought it was agreed, Babycakes, no job until the triplets are in nursery school!
What are you talking about?
LeeYou know, the little woman is so gosh-darn eager to earn some pin money. But I told her, the first four years of a child's life are more important than a new roof. Come on, Cookieface, it's two o'clock, feeding time.
What the Sam Hill do you think you are doing? First, you cannot get rid of me fast enough, then you barge in and drag me out of an interview for a perfectly good job. You say you are my husband, a lie which I do not find funny, and where do you think you are taking me?
LeeWe're getting married.
That's asking too much.
No! I can't sleep here. How would I explain it? I'd feel like I was lying and sneaking.
LeeYou are lying and sneaking. You're working for the government.
No! I mean ... I would feel guilty. You know? Like I was... having a thing. Or something. You know?
LeeA thing?
Yes, you know. A thing.
LeeLike an affair?
Yes. That kind of a thing.
LeeWell, you're not. Now, do you like a window open at night?
Lee. I have to consider Dean.
LeeOkay. How does he feel about windows?
I need two more strawberry daiquiris. Go easy on the rum.
LeeWhere does it say in my contract that I have to make daiquiris? I hate this assignment. I want a divorce
So, how is married life treating you, huh? Dinner at six? Dishes at seven? TV till nine?
LeeBed.
Bed?
LeeYou know, Francine, I've gained a lot of respect for the generosity and... stamina of the American housewife.
You're disgusting.
LeeUh-huh. And noises. Uh, squeaks, thumps ... Maybe it's a jungle. It's hot, steamy.
Probably sexual. Freud would say.
LeeFrancine, if you could pinpoint the single major reason as to why Amanda King gets to you, what would it be?
Her complete lack of ... everything.
Lee, you've managed to avoid your physical for three years.
LeeI've been busy!
What did you expect?
LeeA bottle of scotch, a whole cheesecake, a, a, a, – a woman!
What?!
LeeYeah. Yeah, that's what I want. I want a woman.
Well, I think you had better stop this right now because I will not get you a woman!
LeeCould you give me something for the pain, huh?
You don't want to mask the symptoms do you?
LeeYes, yes I want to mask them
Leave me, he says.
LeeThey tell us to say that. Thank God you never listen to me.
Do you think maybe you could say something nice about my work? I mean, after all, I think I did contribute something to it.
LeeHmm. Okay, uh, your work was ... Not bad.
Not bad?
LeeYeah. Not bad.
Not bad.
LeeWell, you think my legs are just okay, I think your work was just not bad.
That is so petty.
LeeCare to change your opinion?
LeeListen, I've got this real problem here and it's not exactly in my area. So, I thought I'd call you, as it's something that you probably know all about.
I can only assume this is you. Possibly because you're the only man I know who doesn't say hello, doesn't ask how I am.
LeeHow are you?
LeeYes, Amanda. Danger, excitement. Intrigue.
Oh, shut up.
LeeRight. I've got a real problem here, I've got this kid that won't talk to me.
By kid, do you mean one of those girls you date?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scarecrow and Mrs. King pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
