Rocko quotes from Rocko's Modern Life

Rocko

Spunky, well, I guess we better find a hose to wash off.

Rocko

Or maybe just some iodine.

Rocko

I can't believe you got me into this mess. I wanted Mr. Sensible, you know.

Rocko

HERE'S A TICKET FOR YOU... AND A TICKET FOR YOU... AND TICKETS FOR EVERYBODY! Now we can all GO!

Rocko

X day/night is a very dangerous day/night.

Rocko

SPUNKY!!!

Rocko

I must cease this senseless sucking. It's stuck in suck!

"How to turn off your Suck-o-Matic..." [the page gets sucked up, and the page that reads...] ..."In case Suck-o-Matic sucks instructions, see page 101..." [another page gets ripped and is sucked, a page shows a skull on fire] "PREPARE TO DIE"?! [Rocko, Heffer and Spunky scream as eyes bulge in horror]

Rocko

Hef, we're mates, right?

Heffer

Is this about the money I owe you?

Rocko

Well-

Heffer

Hey! [points] What's going on over at the sewer treatment plant?

Rocko

It's a carnival.

Heffer

You know for a second there I thought those carny games were rigged.

Rocko

Not everyone is out to rip you off.

Heffer

You have to learn to trust people.

Filburt

And your total is... [the cash register shows "$1.50"]

Rocko

Phew!

Filburt

One hundred and fifty dollars. Gee, looks like you just missed a big sale. Have a nice day.

Rocko

[snarls and gets bombs in his eyes, enraged and loses it] You CHEAP LITTLE ROTTER! I've been run over by a car, made to drag around a gimp shopping cart, threatened by your Gestapo security guards, had me head set on fire, I was attacked by wild lobsters, beaten by a very large woman, had me dog wrapped in plastic, nearly starved to death, and I still beat the 12:00 deadline! So if you don't change that total back to $1.50, I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE!

Heffer, sit down and talk to me. I'm still your father.

Heffer

[sharply and devastated] You're not my father! You're just a jerk in wolf's clothing! [dashes out of the front door, running away, bawling]

Rocko

Well, I'm stuffed. [chuckles]

Heffer

I couldn't help myself. When I found out you were gonna lose everything, I went out and got the last one!

Rocko

Heffer, you're a pal! But wait, you don't have any money. Hey! You didn't use credit, did you?

Heffer

Heck, no. Only an idiot would use credit. I used this! [pulls out a card]

Rocko

[reading card] "The All Scottish Show Organ Exchange Program"?

Heffer

I sold my second stomach for cash!

Heffer

Ooh... buttons!

Rocko

Heffer, no, not that one!

Rocko

That one must be broken.

Rocko

That's it! There's only so much a wallaby can take! Not only will this house not be condemned, it will be the most beautiful house in the neighborhood! Even nicer than yours!

[laughs] Stop! Stop! I might wet myself! [keeps laughing, but then wets himself] Oops.

Rocko

FILBURT!

Filburt

Yes boss?

Rocko

I want to see you in my office IMMEDIATELY!

Filburt

Yes boss! [uses his teeth to drag himself to the office and he arrives in the office]

Rocko

Supply and demand, Filburt; supply and demand. People demand "Big Man" comics, and we supply them. If you, Filburt can't supply "Big Man", the system breaks down. Do you follow me Filburt!?

Filburt

Yes sir.

Rocko

If the system breaks down, I DON’T MAKE A PROFIT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!

Filburt

No...? [Rocko turns around and shows Rocko is now the same shape and size Mr. Smitty is and Filburt screams in horror]

Rocko

YOU'RE FIRED!

Filburt

Where are you, Really Really Big Man?

Rocko

Oh is that how they do it?

No, those guys are idiots.