Where've I been?
I don't know. But I'm glad you're back. [he laughs]
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
It would have been nice to have dealt with Robin Hood before the King returns. [the Sheriff laughs] What?
The King is not coming.
What do you mean, "the King is not coming"?
He is in the Holy Land. I have arranged an imposter. Think about it: is the real King, who spent God-knows-how-long fighting in the Holy Land, going to stop off in Nottingham on his way home for a chat? A clue: no!
Why?
How many of our friends are against us, hm? Our pathetic lords - Merton, Woodvale, Edward, hm? How many of them are scheming, smiling at us, lying, biding their time, nodding their heads, all the while preparing for the return of their King, the precious Richard the Lionheart, preparing? Hm? To turn against us the minute he walks through that door?
I don't know.
None of them have ever seen the King. So, this way we find out, hm? The plots bubble to the surface! The rats come scurrying out of the woodwork!
Why didn't you tell me?
[sarcastic] Oh, sorry. Nothing personal, hm? Anyway, you should thank me. You get to marry the girl.
Yeah, but based on a lie. The King is not really coming.
Oh, isn't that despicable! I don't know how you could possibly live with yourself!
[Pause]
What if Edward is one of them?
[slams his hands on the table] I WILL HANG HIM!
"I'll send for a physician." He just killed one. He's revolting.
He killed one?
Yes. Pitts. We thought he would denounce Gisborne, but he was a traitor. He was also revolting. I'm glad he is dead.
Yeah, but she's gotta marry Gisborne now. Tomorrow.
True.
If you cannot save her, then do the right thing. Let her go.
Do you know something? I am sick of doing the right thing.
[Much finds Robin sitting atop a hill overlooking Locksley, and walks up to him]
I knew you'd be here.
It is my village.
[Much sits next to him]
Remember the times when we used to sit up here? Sit up here and say there was no finer place in England.
Gisborne is stealing my life.
And you must let him. You heard Edward. The King is in danger. What is Locksley, if England can't be saved?
At this moment I care more about Locksley than England.
It's not Locksley, is it? It's Marian. We must let her go. I say "we", I mean you.
There must be a way.
Robin, the King is coming back! And if we can stop the Sheriff from messing things up, then England will be right again.
Will it?
Yes! The Sheriff will be out, you'll be in. We're talking days, surely. I mean...you'll have your lands back! You'll be in Locksley and I'll be in Bonchurch. I mean, it's not a huge estate but it's big enough. A man could easily get lost in it. Easily.
[Robin laughs]
You know something? If you want to get lost, why don't you start practising now?
You don't mean that. You know a smaller man would be offended. A smaller man would be wounded.
You see there is no smaller man. You are the smaller man, Much. All you care about is the roof over your head, the food in your belly. You speak every facile thought that comes into your head. You're like a pox on my skin and I keep scratching, but you never go away.
[Pause. Much is upset]
[Much pushes Robin over]
You go away!
[He gets up and walks away]
Are you marrying him?
I am marrying him.
Very well.
Pardon?
You said grow up. I'm growing up.
This is strange. Going without Robin.
It's fine. He's made his decision. It's fine.
[Much stops walking]
What are you doing?
[Much shakes his head and takes off his hood]
There is something I have to do. I must find Robin.
[He runs away]
It's down to us now.
[Much has run away from Nottingham and is in the field. He sees "King Richard"]
Ha! Woah! Your Majesty, welcome home!
[He runs up to "the King" but one of his men pushes him away]
Wha-? Your Majesty, I'm Much! I served in the King's Guard! Your Ma-!
[Much realises it's not the King and stands up]
[He looks to the left]
Edward.
[He looks to the right]
Marian.
[He looks back and forth, unsure about which way to go]
[ringing the church bell] STOP THE WEDDING! STOP THE WEDDING! STOP THE WEDDING! IT'S NOT THE KING! THE KING IS AN IMPOSTER! THE KING IS NOT IN NOTTINGHAM!
PPriest
Whether the king is in Nottingham or not, that has no bearing on a wedding.
My father! I must go to Nottingham!
Your father will be safe; I have made provisions for him. You see, my influence, it benefits you. As my father-in-law he is protected. As my father-in-law.
You are cruel!
THIS IS WRONG!
PPriest
You must have legal grounds to object or remain silent!
I have moral grounds!
Get him out of here!
This man is a traitor and a liar! Is that legal? AND HER HEART BELONGS TO ANOTHER! [Pause] Let her tell you that. Marian, my lady, tell them.
Yes, Marian. Tell them. Remember your father.
It is not true. I am sorry. I know you mean well, but my heart belongs here.
[to the priest] Get on with it.
WHAT?! I-I don't understand!
This is surely some mistake!
PPriest
You have a ring?
[The guards drag Much away]
He needs you! MARIAAAAN!
[places the ring on Marian's finger] Wise decision. In time you will thank me.
[Much's scream is heard as he is thrown into the lake]
[Marian removes the wedding ring from her left hand and place it on her right]
PPriest
No, the left hand. The ring must go on the left hand.
No, no, the right is better.
[She removes the front of her veil, punches Gisborne and runs out of the church]
[Robin rides in on his horse]
Do you take this man and this horse as your route out of here?
I do!
[Robin races over to Marian. Much gets out of the lake]
Master! It's not the king. He's an imposter.
A trap. I knew it. Who's there?
Everyone. The gang!
Robin, my father! He leads the rebellion.
[Robin helps Marian onto his horse, and they race off to Nottingham, as they do, Marian takes off her veil and throws it away. Much gets on his horse and races off with them]
[Arriving at the gate to the castle]
We can't be seen together.
We'd never get in anyway.
I'll try the east gate.
We'll try the west.
[Marian gets off the horse and walks to the east gate. Robin and Much race off to the west gate. Robin races back]
Marian!
Robin!
[Marian runs back and they kiss. Robin races to the west gate and Marian smiles and makes her way to the east gate]
GGuard
Former Sheriff, Edward of Knighton.
[Allan puts his hand on Edward's shoulder]
Tell it how it is, Edward.
I will.
[Pretending to be a scribe] Do you wish to give evidence against the Sheriff?
[Shoots arrows onto his sleeves, pinning him to the table] A clue: no!
[Robin knocks out a guard by hitting him with his bow and gestures to the exit]
[to the gang] Shall we?
[the gang run up the stairs]
Thought we were out of a job.
Good to have you back!
It's good to be back.
I think it's fair to say that an audience with the king has been suspended! [Allan laughs as the Sheriff, dangling from the ceiling, screams] Come on, lads. Let's go home.
[He winks at Marian, before leaving with the gang]
COME BACK! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE, YOU BLITHERING OAFS!
[The gang are walking away from the castle, happy, looking at each other, smiling. Then, they jump in glee and shout "Yeah!"]
This is an ambush!
You don't say.
This is how it goes.
There's poor people going hungry.
Tell us what you've got.
Be honest with us...
And we take a tenth...
So the poor can eat.
Lie!
Or resist...
And we take it all. So what's it gonna be?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Robin Hood pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.