Mikey quotes from Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Mikey

This good deed is brought to you by the quote-unquote, Mutant Menace, winky face.

Mikey

Ha! You must be this rad to ride that ride.

Donnie

Well, based on our velocity and entry angle… I concur. We rad!

April

You guys crushed it. Gimme 5! [All leap out to join her.] Or 3.

Couldn’t have done it without you, April. Our girl with the plan.

Leo

And keys to the roof.

Mikey

Let’s go bungee dunk on the hoops at Rucker Park.

April

Game on! Just one thing first. [tosses 2 warning signs on ground] "Wet floor" and "dry pool". Our work is done here. Donnie, can I hitch a ride?

Donnie

No probbles.

What kind of weirdo steals paper?

Mikey

A dreamer! You look at a blank sheet and see nothing. They look at it and see possibilities– [Raph elbows him in the side, causing him to fall over]

Donnie

looking through his welding goggles] There's only one store they haven't hit yet, and it is right over there- Oh, convenient.

How 'bout we go stealth and make 'em wish they stole toilet paper?

Leo

[stealthily lands on the floor behind the bad guys with his brothers following suit] Okay, twerp and… [Foot Lieutenant turns around with a small gasp, Foot Brute looking super intimidating just by standing still] …Surprisingly big man. It's 4 against 2, so what say we call it a day, right?

Mikey

Whoa! They got footprints on their faces!

Uh, are those flames on their heads?

Donnie

Feels like a real hazard for a paper thief. [smirks]

Donnie, your gifts really brought out the best in us.

Leo

I’m funnier!

Mikey

I’m bouncier!

And I’m smash-ier! Your gifts are the stuff!

Donnie

But you were supposed to... Ah, forget it. You guys are great the way you are. Bring it in. Group hug.

Birthdays ruined. Parks destroyed. Museums vandalized. Tonight on Cybersleuth, I will reveal the culprits. Beware the Mutant Menace!

Mikey

Mutant Menace?! Omigosh! They're talking about us!

Leo

I can't believe we're getting blamed for this! Virtually, everything in there is somebody else's fault! I think.

In local news, a team of heartless pranksters dubbed quote-unquote, Mutant Menace, evil winky face, are wrecking havoc across the city. We go live to unpaid E-reporter, Cybersleuth.

A fire rages. A canary flees for its life. A maltese is trapped in concrete. What do these tragedies have in common? The horrible villains called the Mutant Menace!

What?! We called ourselves the Mutant Menace as a joke! That's why we used the "just kidding" quotes, and the "just kidding" winky face!

Leo

Raph, you know I love you, but people don't focus on your punctuation when they're stuck in concrete.

Mikey

There's something familiar about that disguised voice.

No doubt you're wondering who I am. I'm none other than…

Boy genius Baxter Stockboy!

Mikey

What?!

Baxter Stockboy?

Leo

I'm not looking forward to whatever that highly skilled underachiever has in store for us.

Ha! Never fear, New York, I'll expose these monsters for what they are. I've been tracking them from the Stock 'n Shop blimp.

He's tracking us?!

Mikey

Hey, we look like a giant turtle.

Donnie

Yeah, everybody was saying "Go stealth, go stealth", but look at us. We are all kinds of bad.

You, too, can track the Mutant Menace by accessing the Baxter Stockboy Live Stream! Available for a reasonable fee.

Mikey

Chello?

Mikey, we don't "chello" our enemy.

Oh, mutants! You know doubt have noticed my microbots are in control of your vehicle.

Leo

What's your angle, Stockboy?

Just watch this!

New York, I'll deliver the Mutant Menace to the steps of City Hall in 5 minutes! Subscribe and donate to my livestream to witness the spectacle. Or see it in person if you dare. Premium tickets are for sale on my website. We accept cash, credit cards--

Leo

What's with this kid? He's gonna expose us all over New York just for money?

Baxter Stockboy, we're taking you in from unlicensed advertisin', [cop arrests Baxter Stockboy] causing mass hysteria and driving a blimp without a learner's permit (nice work, turtles.) Alright, take him to kid genius jail.

[off-screen] (Officers?!)

[latest words] Mark my words. This isn't the last you've heard of Baxter Stockboy!?

Mikey

Well, I guess we’ll never get people to accent for us bein’ good doers like Wolfie.

?

Donnie

Shelldon! I told you no drone-racing in the lair.

???

Donnie

No, you can't!

Why?!

Donnie

Because I said so email so and texted so!

That's so *unfair!* I'm sick of this shell-pression!?

Mikey

Problem, Donald?

Donnie

???

Donnie

? [gasps] That's it! You are grounded, young man! (Mikey: DONNIE!) Literally!

Hey!

Mikey

Donald, (NO!) [Mikey catches Shelldon]

Donnie

(No, I'm not Donald. I am Donnie.) That's a restraining bolt. From now on, you do not go anywhere or anything without my say so (and it's all Leonardo's fault. Mikey's gonna kill me.)

01001, you!

Donnie

You watch your mouth, young man!? [to Mikey] Sorry, Dr. Feelings, but I feel this was a job for Doctor Actually Solve Problems.

Mikey

Hidden City zoo?

Leo

Oh, luxury resort.

Donnie

Battle Nexus.

April

Oh, Witch town!

Alright, we melt down are listed 200 activities. I don't wanna spend my whole thing in the Hidden City voting, so I say we each do our own thing.

Bye.

Dad?

Donnie

April?

Mikey

Draxum?

Leo

Foot Recruit?

Splinter

Everybody, out!

WHAT?!

Mikey

I wanna hang out with Gram-Gram!

Splinter

NO! GRAM-GRAM NEEDS QUIET!! Sorry.