Raph quotes from Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Scenes with Raph 14

Ha! You must be this rad to ride that ride.

Well, based on our velocity and entry angle… I concur. We rad!

April

You guys crushed it. Gimme 5! [All leap out to join her.] Or 3.

RRaph

Couldn’t have done it without you, April. Our girl with the plan.

And keys to the roof.

Let’s go bungee dunk on the hoops at Rucker Park.

April

Game on! Just one thing first. [tosses 2 warning signs on ground] "Wet floor" and "dry pool". Our work is done here. Donnie, can I hitch a ride?

No probbles.

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RRaph

Really? That'll make us heroes? But it's only paper.

It's only paper? [laughing] I'm so sorry. Donnie, what did he just say? Did he say it's only paper?

Yup.

Did he say it's only paper?

Yes, he did.

Okay! That's what they all say. You think the road to hero town is paved with real crime? No! It's paved with the tears of the poor paper man. And who helps that guy? I'll tell you who: We are who.

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RRaph

What kind of weirdo steals paper?

A dreamer! You look at a blank sheet and see nothing. They look at it and see possibilities– [Raph elbows him in the side, causing him to fall over]

looking through his welding goggles] There's only one store they haven't hit yet, and it is right over there- Oh, convenient.

RRaph

How 'bout we go stealth and make 'em wish they stole toilet paper?

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[stealthily lands on the floor behind the bad guys with his brothers following suit] Okay, twerp and… [Foot Lieutenant turns around with a small gasp, Foot Brute looking super intimidating just by standing still] …Surprisingly big man. It's 4 against 2, so what say we call it a day, right?

Whoa! They got footprints on their faces!

RRaph

Uh, are those flames on their heads?

Feels like a real hazard for a paper thief. [smirks]

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RRaph

Donnie, your gifts really brought out the best in us.

I’m funnier!

I’m bouncier!

RRaph

And I’m smash-ier! Your gifts are the stuff!

But you were supposed to... Ah, forget it. You guys are great the way you are. Bring it in. Group hug.

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SMrs. Stockboy

Baxter, are you in here? You were supposed to be home an hour ago! [?] And what happened to the store?!

BSBaxter Stockboy

Oh, no, guys! It's my parents! [He watches April, Mikey and Leo escaped]

Tell us if you got grounded in your next video, OK? (OK. Bye!)

[off-screen] (Thanks, Leonardo.)

RRaph

[off-screen] (Well done, thank you.)

BSBaxter Stockboy

But sure to subscribe and donate?

SMrs. Stockboy

Baxter, why does the turkey with selfie stick?!

[off-screen] (Because, Mrs. Stockboy, even though have turkey with selfy stick. Mm. Tasty good.)

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[The lair is dark as the Turtles land on the floor. A dark silhouette of Splinter's chair appears behind them]

Land safely!

Hey! What's Pops's chair doing here?

[Splinter turns on the lamp as the turtles cower and scream]

Splinter

Where have you been?! I was worried! Didn't I ground you?!

[Leo high-fives him]

Yeah! And you took away our weapons.

RRaph

We're really sorry!

[Raph drops Mikey]

RRaph

And we've learned a really important lesson on a big secret today, alright? We--

[Just as Raph is about to say something, Splinter cuts him off]

Splinter

Me first. Being a single parent is… What I wanted to… I… I didn't mean to lose my temper earlier.

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RRaph

No! Nonononono! BAD mutant silverfish!

Save the kiosk!

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[The Turtles watch a news report after doing some "good deeds"]

NANews Anchor

In local news, a team of heartless pranksters dubbed quote-unquote, Mutant Menace, evil winky face, are wrecking havoc across the city. We go live to unpaid E-reporter, Cybersleuth.

?"Cybersleuth"

A fire rages. A canary flees for its life. A maltese is trapped in concrete. What do these tragedies have in common? The horrible villains called the Mutant Menace!

RRaph

What?! We called ourselves the Mutant Menace as a joke! That's why we used the "just kidding" quotes, and the "just kidding" winky face!

Raph, you know I love you, but people don't focus on your punctuation when they're stuck in concrete.

There's something familiar about that disguised voice.

?"Cybersleuth"

No doubt you're wondering who I am. I'm none other than…

["Cybersleuth" removes his mask and hoodie revealing Baxter Stockboy from the previous episode]

Boy genius Baxter Stockboy!

What?!

BBoth

Baxter Stockboy?

I'm not looking forward to whatever that highly skilled underachiever has in store for us.

Ha! Never fear, New York, I'll expose these monsters for what they are. I've been tracking them from the Stock 'n Shop blimp.

RRaph

He's tracking us?!

[Mikey and Donnie gaze at it]

Hey, we look like a giant turtle.

Yeah, everybody was saying "Go stealth, go stealth", but look at us. We are all kinds of bad.

You, too, can track the Mutant Menace by accessing the Baxter Stockboy Live Stream! Available for a reasonable fee.

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[One of the microbots bursts into the Turtle Tank and holograms a video chat to Stockboy]

Chello?

RRaph

Mikey, we don't "chello" our enemy.

Oh, mutants! You know doubt have noticed my microbots are in control of your vehicle.

What's your angle, Stockboy?

Just watch this!

[Stockboy appears on each jumbotron in the city]

New York, I'll deliver the Mutant Menace to the steps of City Hall in 5 minutes! Subscribe and donate to my livestream to witness the spectacle. Or see it in person if you dare. Premium tickets are for sale on my website. We accept cash, credit cards--

[Leo bats the bot away]

What's with this kid? He's gonna expose us all over New York just for money?

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[After the angrily mobs leaves City Hall]

PPolice Officer

Baxter Stockboy, we're taking you in from unlicensed advertisin', [cop arrests Baxter Stockboy] causing mass hysteria and driving a blimp without a learner's permit (nice work, turtles.) Alright, take him to kid genius jail.

SSheldon

[off-screen] (Officers?!)

[latest words] Mark my words. This isn't the last you've heard of Baxter Stockboy!?

Well, I guess we’ll never get people to accent for us bein’ good doers like Wolfie.

RRaph

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