What time is it?
[blearily crawls over to the clock on the bedside table] ....Saturday.
That the best you can do?
There are some numbers beside it, but they could be anything.
“Thanks for the Memory”
In this episode: Dave Lister (8), Arnold Rimmer (6), Holly (3), The Cat (2)
I want a triple fried egg sandwich...
With chili sauce and chutney!
You what?
It's a state-of-the-art sarnie!
It's the state of the floor I'm worried about.
It's like a cross between food and bowel surgery.
It's well naughty. The trick is to eat it before the bread dissolves.
It's amazing Where did you get the recipe?
I'm not sure.... I think it was a book on bacteriological warfare.
And for this very special occasion I have baked - a cake.
What's that then?
It's in the shape of a spanner, Holly, cos he was a technician.
Well, that's very apt, that is. If he'd been a postman you'd have baked it in the shape of an envelope, I suppose?
Yeah!
Gordon Bennett, it's lucky he's not a gynaecologist.
I feel like I'm having a baby!
It's good, innit?
It's incredible! Where did you get the recipe from?
I can't remember...I think it was a book on bacteriological warfare.
It's like a cross between food and bowel surgery.
It's well naughty. The trouble is, you've gotta eat it before the bread dissolves.
[The crew are puzzled by the apparently missing days on board the ship, the fact that Lister's jigsaw has been completed, and both he and the cat have a broken foot/leg. Rimmer suspects aliens.]
So, aliens came on board.
without question!
They broke my leg.
For some reason.
They broke my leg.
Yes.
And then they did a jigsaw...well that's cleared that up...
OK, professor, what does it mean?
Right, breaking your leg 'hurts like hell'. HELL, okay? They do it beLOw the knee, LO; 'HEL-LO', get it? They do it twice, twice; 'TWO'. HELLO TO. And jigsaw must mean YOU. HELLO TO YOU!
...I'd hate to be around when one of these suckers is making a speech!
[the crew search for the Black Box to try and piece together what happened]
This is hopeless, it's like trying to find a fart in a Jacuzzi.
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