Sam quotes from Quantum Leap

Well when I was 8 years old I had a pet roach. Only problem was, the kid in the next bed had a pet lizard. I'll never forget him. His name was Kevin.

Sam

The kid in the next bed?

No, the roach.

Sam

Why do I even ask.

Ziggy says the odds are real good.

Sam

How good?

Oh, you know. They're way up there.

Sam

John is gonna write my favorite song in the future.

Your favorite song in the future? Well, sing it to me.

Sam

Do you have to sneak up on me?

I'm sorry. What do you expect a hologram to do? Knock?

Who are you?

Yin and yang, good and bad. God...

Sam

...The Devil.

In the flesh, so to speak.

This isn't possible!

Sam

Come on Al, tell me he's not real...

Uh...I...you...ah...he's real. Oh Sam, he's very real.

What is happening?

Sam

Why are you doing this?

To put an end to your meddling. Who gave you the right to go bungling around in time, putting right what I made wrong?!

Sam

I'm just trying to get home.

Well you're not going to make it!

What's with Ebenezer there?

Sam

He's ready to tear down the mission with his bare hands, Al; I think I'm making things worse.

Do you have any Sweet 'n Low? Or Equal?

Sweet 'n low? Equal?

Sam

No, no, no, no, no. They didn't have any artificial sweetner in 1945. Okay?

Sam

But boy, did they have women with big kazooms!

Even with the cafe I'm rationed a half a pound of sugar a week. And Mike tries to put all of it into in his cup.

Are you forgetting who slips you an extra pound of butter every now and then?

I didn't know I was swappin' sugar for it.

Sam

Well, if a pound of butter is all it takes, I got me a dairy farm that I...

[to Sam] Stop that!!

We're to be married in two days! What are my mother and father going to say?

Sam

Cancel the church, the reception, the cake...

Sam

What do you got on Al?

He is 175.26 cm tall, weighs 70.91--

Sam

Ziggy!

Yes, Doctor?

Sam

Give me what I want, baby.

Oooh. If you weren't my father...

Sam

Dammit Ziggy! Tell me something I don't know!

Tina's having an affair with Gushie.

Sam

Something to help Al.

Tea? Not coffee?

Sam

I'm making some tea. Tea. T-E-A tea. Tea, tea, tea. I don't like coffee, I like tea....Does drinking tea make me any less of a man than somebody who drinks coffee? I mean, is every tea-drinker in the entire history of the world gay to you? Is that it? What about the Boston Tea Party? Was that like some kind of a gay boat festival or something?

I'll tell you what. Why don't you lie down in the parking lot and I'll accidentally back over you with my car. Probably we can get a whole week out of that!

Sam, Roberto would never let her get away with that. Try this...

Sam

What's the matter, did you fall off your broomstick this morning!?

Stay on her, Sam.

Sam

And what earth-shattering news are you working on this week?

Gas stations that promise full service but don't deliver.

Sam

I was trying to save your life.

By running me down and beating me up?

Sam

No, no. I thought...I thought that your heart had stopped. I was just trying to get it started again, that's all.

Oh, why don't you back over me a couple more times?

Sam

You shouldn't move.

You shouldn't drive.