Chuck quotes from Pushing Daisies

Ned

You can't touch me.

Chuck

So a kiss is out of the question?

Ned

I just lost my train of thought.

Chuck

You can't just touch someone's life and just be done with it.

Ned

Yes I can. That's how I roll.

Hey, Charlotte!

Chuck

Hey, Deedee.

Now, how'd I know you'd be the first person I'd see when I got to...? Is this...? Which one is this?

Chuck

This is neither. Well, maybe it's both, but, listen, this is the deal: you get to talk for, like, a minute, we're gonna catch up, and then you're not talking anymore.

Does everyone get to do this? 'Cause, girl, we gotta break it down.

Chuck

Did you know I was gonna get killed?

I thought there might be the possibility, yes. I'm real sorry about that. I probably should've said something. But to be honest, and really, why not, at this point, if it were safe, I would've done it myself. God, this is fantastic! Being honest is fun!

Chuck

[regarding Emerson] Is he upset you brought your childhood sweetheart back to life?

Ned

He barely knows you're here.

Narrator

In fact, Emerson had finished knitting a sweater vest and two handgun cozies in the week since Chuck's return.

Chuck

[noticing a pocket watch on Lawrence's body] Hey, I had one just like that.

Yeah, your dead body was buried with it.

Well, your dead body wasn't doing anything with it.

Emerson

Oh, you better be playing.

Ned

[checks his watch] 12 seconds.

Emerson

Oh, hell no! [runs out of the funeral home making the Sign of the Cross]

Chuck

I don't know, but hurry up and open if before he comes back! What if he changes when his blood sugar level drops?

Olive

Maybe like a hypoglycemic werewolf!

Ned

The police wrestled little Hallie Hundin to the ground and she's small: it was like a lion taking down a baby zebra.

Chuck

And we were awful tourists sitting safe in our camouflaged SUV watching the injustice.

Ned

You're the only one for me.

Chuck

I know you feel that now, but there are things you want. There're things we both want.

Ned

So? Everyone wants stuff, we wake up every day with list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn't mean we need them to be happy.

Chuck

What do you need to be happy?

Ned

You.

Chuck

Follow the yellow thick hose!

Ned

Follow the yellow thick hose?

Don't mess with the pie hoes.

Ned

Been looking.

Chuck

Been hiding.

Ned

How much does Olive know?

Chuck

Don't worry about what Olive knows. Even if I told her the truth, that I died and you brought me back to life, she wouldn't believe me.

Ned

You don't know that.

Chuck

Yes I do, because I told her and she wouldn't believe me.

Chuck

Boy, Kentucky sure had it in for Betty but, who had it in for Kentucky?

Ned

The Terrifying Bee Man.

Chuck

What if he was made entirely out of bees and that's why she couldn't see his face because he didn't even have one. I mean, what if there's a whole "Bee-folk society" who'd walk around shaped like people?

Ned

You're thinking about how you can train your bees to walk around in people shapes, aren't you?

Chuck

Yeah.

Olive

I know, they were lovers at the same-sex persuasion, and the key is for their love nest.

Ned

We've ruled out "Workplace Romance".

Olive

Oh... I'll just, cross that off my list then.

Chuck

I haven't ruled out "Workplace Romance".

Emerson

Romance does give you motive. Somebody's always lovin' somebody they shouldn't be lovin'.

Chuck

They're here, because you stopped delivering their special pies, all this time I've been making special pies and what have you been...?

Olive

[Cutting Chuck off] And dosing them with God knows what, you claim that is vanilla, but that ain't vanilla.

Emerson

I'm gonna dose the both of you with a scoop of Shut the Fudge Up.

Chuck

Look, I took care of Lily and Vivian for twenty years, they never even left the house. What happened was incredibly unusual.

Ned

Please take this the right way, but so is being dead but not dead.

Emerson

Amen.