“Pie-lette” quotes from Pushing Daisies

Ned

You can't touch me.

Chuck

So a kiss is out of the question?

Ned

I just lost my train of thought.

Chuck

You can't just touch someone's life and just be done with it.

Ned

Yes I can. That's how I roll.

Emerson

You know what? We all have childhood issues. Okay? Believe me. I got the full subscription, okay? Horror stories.

Ned

I kind of killed her dad when I was ten.

Emerson

Maybe not horror stories.

Ned

She doesn't know. But I wanted to make it better or different than what it was, because what it was was her dead and I didn't want that to be my fault too.

Emerson

Well, who died instead?

Ned

[shows Emerson an obituary for the funeral director] It's a random proximity thing.

Emerson

Bitch! I was in proximity.

Emerson

The fact that he was a very, very bad man makes you feel better about what you did?

Ned

Yes. Immensely. I would have felt horrible if it was... you, for example.

Emerson

[smacks Ned on the head with rolled up newspaper.]

Ned

I'm not proud!

Emerson

You know, I'm glad you did it. Makes the worst thing I did seem insignificant.

Ned

Listen to you, all judgey-judge.

Hey, Charlotte!

Chuck

Hey, Deedee.

Now, how'd I know you'd be the first person I'd see when I got to...? Is this...? Which one is this?

Chuck

This is neither. Well, maybe it's both, but, listen, this is the deal: you get to talk for, like, a minute, we're gonna catch up, and then you're not talking anymore.

Does everyone get to do this? 'Cause, girl, we gotta break it down.

Chuck

Did you know I was gonna get killed?

I thought there might be the possibility, yes. I'm real sorry about that. I probably should've said something. But to be honest, and really, why not, at this point, if it were safe, I would've done it myself. God, this is fantastic! Being honest is fun!