Cooler quotes from Pound Puppies (1986)

Whopper

We made it! Doc Weston’s office!

Cooler

Thanks, Mac. Keep the change!

I hate getting paid with rawhide doggie chews.

Catgut

(laughs evilly)

Catgut

(barks like a dog)

Hey! It’s that sloppy mutt who’s been disturbing the peace!

Let’s teach him some manners!

Catgut

(laughs evilly)

Kitty-cat, you’re out of luck! The zipper on your suit is stuck!

Catgut

(meows)

Okay, buddy. We’re gonna put an end to your one-dog Wrecking Crew!

Cooler

Looks like Catgut’s really gone to the dogs.

Holly

But no food and no money, I’ll have to close down the pound.

Bright Eyes

Don’t worry, everybody. We’ll get by without money or food. We can live on love!

Nose Marie

(chuckles) How’s that sound to you, Cooler honey?

Cooler

I’d rather have some loose change in a baloney sandwich, thank you very much.

Brattina

Bye, Holly! We’re going to the dog hater’s convention! Yah!

Katrina

And we won’t be back until late tonight.

Brattina

So try to hose yourself up before we get back.

Katrina

Aren’t we the mean ones though!

Nose Marie

(scoffs) If abate’s so terribly ladylike, I’d give Katrina’s ankle bone a severe nibbing.

Cooler

Sounds like a hologram.

Howler

It’s for Whopper. Dear Nephew, stop. I’m stopping by puppy pound today for brief. Stop, stop. Your Uncle J.R. Whopper. Stop. Stop, stop.

Cooler

All right, pups! It’s time for operation find Howler! Nose Marie, Bright Eyes, Whopper, hit the streets!

Righto!

Cooler

Sherlock, you and the other pups help Holly with the repairs.

A-yup, a-yup, a-yup!

Cooler

Pound Puppies, let’s start pounding!

Hooray!

Egad! Small dogs!

Go away! Shoo! Scat!

Cooler

What do you mean? We’re trying to save you, cookie cats. This truck’s on a one-way trip to Palookaville.

Mind your own business, governor. We’re-We’re on a vital mission.

Yes, indeed. The next time you start to rescue someone, why don’t you ask permission first?

Cooler

Oh, boy. You cats were confused, but these dudes are out to lunch.

Katrina

Ah! Oh, a day on the beach has worked wonders for me, girls.

Holly

You do seem more relaxed, Auntie Katrina.

Katrina

Oh, I am, Holly. I feel like all my Pap-puppy troubles are behind me.

Katrina

Puppies! Puppies! Lots and lots of puppies!

Brattina

Icky, icky, icky-poo!

Holly

Cooler?

Cooler

We’ll explain later, Holly! Ciao for now!

Katrina

Puppies! Puppies! (howls)

Holly

The sleigh’s all loaded up.

Cooler

Then let’s hitch up our reindeer and hit the road! Hey, Rudolph, front and center!

Howler

Rudolph, Shmoo-Dolph! How do we get talked into these things?

Hooray!

Cooler

By the way, Holly, where’d you find all these great presents to hand out?

Holly

I bought ‘em.

Cooler

With what? Money. May I be so bold as to ask, perchance?

Holly

With the pound’s money!

Nose Marie

The pound’s money? You mean we had money left over after paying the bills?

Holly

What bills? We haven’t gotten any bills since July. Isn’t that wonderful?

Nose Marie

Wonderful? I’d say it’s downright fishy.

Cooler

(sniffs) And it has the distinct aroma of Katrina Stoneheart.

Holly

Closed? But how can you close the pound?

I’m sorry to do this on Christmas Eve, Holly, but the pound is so behind in its bills. Well, I just had to close it down. I’m very sorry.

Holly

What bills is he talking about? We didn’t get any bills.

Katrina

Oh, Holly!

Cooler

This may be your answer coming down the street.

Katrina

I have a Christmas present for you. Five months of overdue bills! You can possibly pay them! (laughs evilly)

Brattina

(singing) Yah-yah! Read ‘em and weep!

Holly

I can’t believe this!

Katrina

Well, it’s true. Now come home, young lady. You’re going straight to bed.

Holly

No! I wanna stay with the puppies!

Katrina

Too bad! You’re coming home this instant!

Holly

No, you can’t do this! Please, Auntie Katrina! Please!

Howler

(howling sadly)

Holly

Oh, puppies! It looks like Santa’s been here, and these love presents for everyone! A million, a billion… A kazillion presents! Yeah!

Whopper

Oh, boy!

(meows)

Cooler

Psst. Kitty, want some warm milk?

(meows)

Cooler

(to the audience) Well, you can’t expect every episode to end with a joke. Happy Holidays, kids!

Nose Marie

Eek! Eek! I say “Eek!”

Cooler

And throw in an extra eek for me!

Help!

Howler

It’s a genious houstin… a sizzling roasted… uh… (howls) It’s a great big spook!

Nose Marie

Oh, sakes alive! Is there no one who can save us from this fate worse than a flea bath?!

Whopper

There’s no need to fear. Wonder Whopper is here, along with the world’s greatest ghost hounder, Biff-Barker! This is my hero cos he’s so brave.

Eww!

No ghost can scare Biff-Barker.

Whopper

Oh, what a guy!

Whopper

And that’s the story of how we were all rescued by Wonder Whopper and Biff Barker the world’s greatest ghost hounder.

Nose Marie

Whopper, where do you dream up all this nonsense about Biff Barker?

Whopper

But there’s not nonsense! He’s a star of the ghost hounder’s TV show.

Whopper

And I’m an official member… No. The treasure… Oh. The president of the Biff Barker fan club. Yeah. (pushing the lever down and all his things come out) Biff Barker’s an honest-to-goodness real ghost hounder and my hero!

Cooler

Hmm. I wonder if Biff Barker ever ran into the ghost of the Terrible Terrier!

Bright Eyes

(chuckles) Ghost of the Terrible Terrier?

Holly

Yes! The ghost of the Terrible Terrier! Late at night, you can hear a moan.

Cooler

A ghoulish, gruesome, ghastly groan. He calls “I’ll get you! I’ll get you! I’ll get you!”

Cooler

Boo!

Holly

We got him good with that one, Cooler!

Holly

We’ve already scared them enough, Cooler. Don’t overdo it.

Cooler

That wasn’t me.

Holly

It’s the Terrible Terrier!

Cooler

Well, it ain’t rimp tin tin!

Pound Puppies! Be gone from here by midnight tomorrow, or else!

Whopper

Or else what, doggy breath?

Cooler

(to Whopper) You had to ask.

Cooler

Whoa! What’s going on, gang?

Howler

We’re baking the worst… Uh, faking the first… (howls) taking the first bus outta here.

Nose Marie

That’s right. We’re not staying here one more little old minute with that drooling ghostly glob.

Cooler

He may be a drooling ghostly glob, but we can lick him!

Nose Marie

Cooler, that’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.

Bright Eyes

But Cooler’s right! We can’t just leave! We gotta stick together and fight! (cheering) To the cover dance on cinnamon toast! Pound Puppies, Pound Puppies, beat the ghost!

Nose Marie

I take it back. That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.

Cooler

Come on, crew! We’ll show that Terrible Terrier who can’t push us around!

Whopper

Yeah, and I know just the guy who can help us!

Nose Marie

So, that’s where Katrina was packing us off to. Why, that woman’s nothing more than a…

Nose Marie

That’s what she is!

Cooler

Ooh, please! Nose Marie, try to clean up your language!

Nose Marie

Oh, well, pardon my little ol’ peaches.

Whopper

Five happy puppies and five happy adoptions!

Cooler

Well, when it comes to adoptions, I guess you could call us, Pound Puppies, a bunch of big shots. (laughs)

Howler

(howling)

Cooler

We were so busy with Cheep-Cheep. We almost forgot to find Schap a home.

Nose Marie

Your new masters are waiting, Schap honey.

Cooler

Hey, guys. Nice job! And like I always say “May birds and dogs of a feather flock together.” (laughs)

Yay!

Bright Eyes

Cheep, cheep, cheep!

(tweeting in a barking way)

Bright Eyes

(laughs) I couldn’t have said it better myself. (laughs)

Nose Marie

(writing down on the clipboard) Four more cute little old pups ready for adoption, Cooler.

Cooler

Let’s just hope they’re ready to meet the evil queen of creepiness. Katrina Stoneheart.

Holly

Howdy, guys.

Howdy, Holly.

Katrina

Welcome, doggies. Now, let’s get one thing straight right off the bat. You’ll never escape from my pound! NEVER! (blowing the pups into the cage)

Catgut

(meows then laughs in an evil grin)

Brattina

And no one can help you, not even Cooler and his icky-poo puppy pals.

Bright Eyes

Golly gee!

Whopper

That’s us!

Katrina

And if Cooler’s pack shows up around here, we’ll be waiting with… the Vacuum Vortex.

Yipe!

Katrina

Cooler and his mongrel mob will be turned into a canine cage! (laughs evilly)

Cooler

Yes, folks! It dices, it slices, and it’s only 1995! (laughs)

Cooler

Uh-oh! It’s on to us, crew! Let’s hit the pain!

Katrina

Why is that bucket of boats chewing up garbage cans?

Brattina

Maybe it’s hungry.

Katrina

Blasted contraption must need a tune-up. Take it back to the garage, Brattina!

Brattina

Yes, sure, Mommy Dearest. Come on, Vacuum.