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SEASON 1

Perfect Strangers · Season 1

Perfect Strangers Season 1 quotes

19 quotes · page 2 of 2

S1 E15Unfinished Business

Don't come any closer! [He tries to smash a bottle against a table to use as a weapon, but can't quite manage. Cobra grabs the bottle and smashes it over his head]

CCobra

Is that what you were tryin' to do? [A short pause]

[simultaneously] Well, I wasn't going for the head. I was going for the... [He mimes smashing a bottle against a table] hoping for a jagged edge... something I could brandish about...

[simultaneously] No, you were going like this... there's a system to it... we had that whole discussion about the relaxation of the wrist and the elongation of this muscle right here, but, you know, sometimes the label covers over the part of the bottle...

Balki, Larry: [in unison] Yes, that was it!

[Unknown to Sam, Balki has been hypnotised and thinks he is Elvis Presley]

SGSam Gorphley

If you don't start acting like yourself by the time I count to three, you are out of a job! One...

For the money!

SSam

Two...

For the show!

Tomorrow at 10:00 you'll be meeting with the football team. You'll tell them how important you think sports are to the school's image, got it?

Ah, sports are good for school's image, got it.

Okay, then at 10:30, you'll be meeting with the science club. You'll tell them, you think education is important and too much of the school's budget is spent on sports. Got it?

Too much on sports. Got it.

Okay, at noon, you'll be meeting with the fraternities. You'll tell them, you think entirely too much time is being spent in the classroom, and you're pushing for a 3-day weekend, got it?

Too much fraternity.

That, and 15:00 you'll be meeting with the Honor Society. You'll tell them you think we're here to study, not to party, and you're pushing for Saturday classes, got it?

[Covers Larry's mouth to prevent him from further talking] Small, small question from a simple Mypiot boy. This looks like I'm just telling everyone what they want to hear.

Welcome to politics. I am so proud of you.

[Balki opens a box and an inflatable woman inflates in their faces, spreading out to take up a portion of the trunk with them]

You... you live with someone for five years, and you think you know them...

Balki...

Then you spend a night in a car trunk with them.

Balki, this is not what you think.

[angrily] It's not an inflatable woman?

... Well, yes it is.

Does the lady have a name?

I use this so I can drive in the car pool lane when I'm driving alone.

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