Balki Bartokomous quotes from Perfect Strangers

Balki

America! Land of my dreams, home of the Whopper!

Balki

Well of course not, don't be ridiculous.

Balki

You don't know what kind of good fellow you dumping to the birds! He was always loyal to you, he make everything perfect for you and you won't find anyone to do better! His only mistake was to be good friend to me. But the customer likes him and that's why they come back! And if you let this good person walk out that door you're makin' one big mistake, ghostbuster!

Balki

Patience is a virgin.

Balki

You do that again and you're in big trouble!

Balki

I'm in debt. I am a true American.

Balki

Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!

Balki

[dazed] Oh, I'll put that in your car for you.

Balki

Liar, liar, pants for hire.

Balki

Oh, give me a line of credit!

Balki

Get out of the city!

Balki

It's gonna be kind of hard to save you from here.

Balki

Once in a while when I know my Mypos family is all together then I wish I was in my chair at the table, because Papa sits here and Uncle Stavlos sits there and it’s a place of honor, you know.

Balki

You know, I really admire you.

Larry

Why is that?.

Balki

Well, because first... you're willing to give up your bedroom to a woman I hardly know....[Larry looks at Balki in surprise] ... and then for me, your friend, you're willing to sleep on the hot side of the bed.

Larry

[Larry begins to lie down, then thinks about it and sits back up again.] What do you mean, the hot side of the bed?.

Balki

Well, about 6:00 in the morning... see that little hole in the drapes? The sun comes through that and bores a hole right through your head like a laser beam.

Larry

What's in my face?

Balki

Dimitri. He always sleeps with me. [He makes Dimitri bounce toward Larry] Ding dang dang.

Larry

Not tonight. [He takes Dimitri and drops him callously on the floor]

Balki

I say my prayers now. [He crawls out of bed, kneels beside it and clasps his hands together in prayer] God? Bless Cousin Larry and Gina and the new baby and please watch over Dimitri who's sleeping on the floor for the first time in his whole young life. [He bounds back into bed, throws the covers over himself and cringes]'