JJez
Will you excuse me? I've got to go and give that ill-looking man an enormous drink.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Only downside is no Dobby. If it peaks before Dobby gets here, I've wasted good party.
JJez
Maybe call her? Give her some flavour.
What, like start a message and then say "Stop it Julio. Get your own cocaine, I've got too much tit in my mouth."?
JJez
Exactly
JJez
Oh god, Elena.
....
JJez
This is not all my chickens coming home to roost, Mark, all right? Don't stand there thinking it is.
I'm not Jez. (This is all his chickens coming home to roost. It's a roost-a-thon.)
Good Will to all men! (Did I just say 'Good will to all men')
All right Jez.
JJez
Yeah, um, just an idea, would it be okay mate if you fucked off before I ram a wine bottle up your cock?
Dobby, Come in. No need to explain what the hell you've been doing till this time.
Dobby mustn't see Gerrard. He's gone over the edge of reason. Get rid of him!
JJez
Aye aye, captain.
JJez
Gayle. Great you could make it.
GGayle
Hi Jez.
JJez
(You're about to get dumped. Have a lager.)
GGayle
Thanks!
JJez
(Come on in to your emotional torture pit.)
JJez
(Oh what a disaster. Love is all you need. No, actually, Beatles. You also need a person to do it with; Beatles.
Sophie? Jeff says the baby's a boybe. Is it a boybe?
Yes!
Right... almost makes it seem real.
Well it is real.
Of course. (Totally doesn't feel real. maybe 1% more real now)
I've been thinking about names, have you been thinking about names?
Soph, it's early doors yet, we've a month and some weeks to go (I can get to Argentina in a month. Argentina and a face transplant?)
I was thinking 'Tarquin Oliver Nimrod'.
[Mark bursts out laughing]
What would you call him? Mark? Mark Mark Corrigan III?
No! Of course not, something... normal.
What's normal?
I dunno.. Bruce, or something.
Bruce!?
No, not Bruce.
Did you just say Bruce?
No, I didn't mean Bruce, just a name in that area.
Little Bruce?
No, not Bruce. Just a name like Bruce, not even that much like Bruce!
The absolute worst thing anyone could say about you is that you were a selfish, moral blank, whose lazy cynicism and sneering, ironic take on the world encapsulates everything wrong with a generation. But you, my friend, are not evil.
Plumbing's just fucking Lego, innit? Water Lego.
[Sophie is in labour]
Aaaaaargh! Bastard, bastard, fat bastard!
(Is that for me or just general bastarding?)
Oh, fuck off, fuck off!
(If she keeps saying "fuck off", I might fuck off. That's got to be within your rights, to fuck off if someone repeatedly screams at you to fuck off.)
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