John Economos quotes from Peacemaker

Economos

Dude, I didn't mean to put your father in prison.

Peacemaker

Then why'd you put him there, you fat fuck?!

Economos

Because I couldn't think of anybody else!

Peacemaker

Well, what about Ariana Grande, or Drake?!

Economos

What?!

Peacemaker

Brad Pitt or Payne Stewart or Doug the Pug... Khloé Kardashian, the red tiger from Voltron, Tinky-Winky, Mariska Hargitay, Mario, Super Mario, fuckin' Luigi! Yoshi, the Princess, Bert, Ernie, Grover, Snuffleupagus, Burger King, Grimace, Ronald McDonald, the two old guys on the balcony from The Muppets? Fran Tarkenton, Joe Montana, Joe Mantegna...

Economos

What the fuck?!

Peacemaker

...Eddie Murphy, Michael Jordan, Michael B. Jordan, BTS? Eugene Levy?!

Economos

Fuck, dude, half...!

Peacemaker

Jon Lovitz? Shut the fuck up and listen, man. I'm giving you a list of people you could've done! Danny DeVito, Andy Kaufman, Jim Morrison, any one of the fuckin' Beatles! Pete Best? George Carlin.

Economos

Dead!

Peacemaker

Danny Glover! Mel Gibson! Ice-T! Ice Cube! Vanilla Ice! Elvis fuckin' Presley, Priscilla Presley... Seth Meyers! What about Seth Meyers, or for that matter, Jay Leno? Conan's not really doing much right now! Will Ferrell, Howard Stern, Baba Booey, Robin Ophelia Quivers, fuckin Telly Savalas, Freddie Stroma, James Gunn! What the fuck, dude?!

Economos

Those last two aren't even things!

Peacemaker

Alice Cooper, Ozzy Osbourne, Sharon Osbourne. Bill Cosby, he just got out, he's got time on his hands! Amy Winehouse...

Economos

Dude, Amy Winehouse is fucking dead!

Peacemaker

Optimus Prime, Shipwreck, Cobra Commander, the fuckin' cunts from Riverdale!

Economos

Alright, most of those, you're right -- could probably go to prison. But I would never put Ariana Grande in there! She looks too innocent!

Peacemaker

Possibly true! Possibly.

Economos

Alright, next time I fucking have to frame somebody, it'll be one of all those fucking thousands of people you just mentioned!

Peacemaker

Yeah, tell that to my dad.

Murn

Peacemaker, shut the fuck up!

Peacemaker

[to Auggie, while punching him] You killed my brother! You killed Keith! And you're only right about one thing, I am a piece of shit! I'm a piece of shit for listening to you for all those years! I'm a piece of shit for not killing you in your sleep!

Auggie

[laughs] You hit like a girl!

Auggie

Well go ahead and do it, you fucking pussy! [Peacemaker hesitates.] I knew you couldn't do it, you faggot. 'Cause I control you! Whether or not I kill you, you'll never be able to get the fuck away--

Vigilante

Dude, this is a really weird time to do your face exercises. I mean, I guess you don't get a totally sick, jacked face like yours without dedication, but...

Economos

He's crying, asshole.

Economos

[to Vigilante] So you're compassionate about tape, but not brutally murdering people?

Vigilante

Yes.

Why did he do that to his beard?

Economos

Do what?

Why did he color his beard all strange like that?

Economos

He thought it made him look younger and more handsome. He never had a girlfriend, so he thought dyeing his beard might help. But he was also lazy, and busy with his job... and he wouldn't dye his roots regularly. And when he did, he used the cheapest brand because he was incredibly underpaid. Mostly, though, he never thought anybody noticed. Until recently, when one guy said it to him all the time.

Economos

[sees his phones to see Sasha Bordeaux calling him] Fuck!

Vigilante

Who is it?

Economos

[answers] Hello?

Why didn't you tell us Smith has some kind of superpowered duck?

A meta duck.

Economos

He doesn't have a superpowered duck. He's got a regular eagle.

That regular eagle just took down five agents. One's in the ICU. Another lost an eye. Another one needs to have a reconstructive facial surgery.

Economos

Fuck. O-okay, I'll be right in.

Make it fast. [ends the call]

He told me duck. What kind of man takes advantage of another man's bird blindness? [Bordeaux walks off] Right. [another nurse passes by] Sorry, excuse me.