Vigilante quotes from Peacemaker

Vigilante

Just remember, even if they end up being okay to "work with", they’re still not gonna be good friends. And none of them is the type to be a best friend!

Vigilante

[to Auggie] You're a bad dad.

Vigilante

Dude. My advice? Cut it out with the introspection. The mind is a den of scorpions better left running from, not towards.

Vigilante

We used to go out, kill bad guys. Boom, boom, boom. No problem. We accidentally kill the wrong person? "Aw, shoot. Bummer. That stinks". Then we move on! Now, suddenly, you've got this weird, new-age belief that all life is sacred!

Vigilante

Do you think I feel good when after some dude does some atrocious act, that I have to kill them?

Peacemaker

I don't know...

Vigilante

When I find out someone murdered an innocent person, or sold somebody heroin, or did some graffiti, and I kill that person with my bare hands, their eyeballs popping out of their skulls... You think THAT gives ME pleasure?

Peacemaker

[sighs] No...

Vigilante

Well, it does! [laughs] It gives you pleasure too, Peacemaker, that's cause we are born killers! What separates us from the other killers, is we only kill bad people. Usually... Unless there's a mistake! Now, do I sound like a fucking maniac?

Peacemaker

Do you read the news?

Vigilante

No. What for? It's depressing.

Murn

Peacemaker, in my office. You sure your head is in this?

Peacemaker

What?

Murn

You choked last night.

Peacemaker

Are you kidding me? Maybe that wouldn't have happened if you put a goddamn dove of peace on the sniper rifle! One of the most important things about killing someone, to me, is a fucking dove of peace on the weapon.

Murn

That's bullshit and you know it!

Peacemaker

You also told me to kill kids. You didn't say why! Yeah, okay, one was homely. That didn't make it better, it made it worse! I started to feel sorry for it.

Murn

Yeah, I may have pushed you too hard on that one.

Peacemaker

I made a vow to have peace at any cost, no matter how many men, women, and children I need to kill to get it. But I'm not fucking killing kids just because you say so!

Murn

You're sure that's all it is?

Peacemaker

Yeah.

Murn

Good... 'cause right now the world needs a son of a bitch, and you're the only one I got.(Looks out at Vigilante) Well I guess him now, too.

Vigilante

Fuck it hurts to walk on!

Peacemaker

You sure about that?

Murn

Yes. Why?

Peacemaker

Vigilante's a bit, uh... (whistles).

Murn

You think that's something I wouldn't have noticed?

Peacemaker

Yeah. Yeah, right. Ever since I had to team up with Matter-Eater Lad, my sense of what's normal is a little fucked up.

Vigilante

Shouldn't you kill him, then?

Peacemaker

No! I'm not gonna kill my dad!

Vigilante

Why not?

Peacemaker

Because I love him.

Vigilante

Oh!

Vigilante

I'm grateful that Black people gave us rock and roll music. Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top, 38 Special... All those guys owe everything to Black American folk and blues musicians. I mean, they wouldn't exist without 'em, and then white redneck music would just sound like... well, what it sounded like before black people, which was the wet, sloppy sounds of fucking your sister. Okay, so that's my turn. Which one of you dumb, sister-fucking, tiki-torch-carrying, Sloth-from-the-Goonies-looking pieces of sh¡t wants to go next?

Who the fuck are you?

Vigilante

You're first? Cool! Okay, wait. No, let me guess. Your favorite contribution to Black American culture was all the black guys who fucked your mom in the ass while you watched from the closet, jerking off?

Peacemaker

[to Auggie, while punching him] You killed my brother! You killed Keith! And you're only right about one thing, I am a piece of shit! I'm a piece of shit for listening to you for all those years! I'm a piece of shit for not killing you in your sleep!

Auggie

[laughs] You hit like a girl!

Auggie

Well go ahead and do it, you fucking pussy! [Peacemaker hesitates.] I knew you couldn't do it, you faggot. 'Cause I control you! Whether or not I kill you, you'll never be able to get the fuck away--

Vigilante

Dude, this is a really weird time to do your face exercises. I mean, I guess you don't get a totally sick, jacked face like yours without dedication, but...

Economos

He's crying, asshole.

Economos

[to Vigilante] So you're compassionate about tape, but not brutally murdering people?

Vigilante

Yes.

Economos

[sees his phones to see Sasha Bordeaux calling him] Fuck!

Vigilante

Who is it?

Economos

[answers] Hello?

Why didn't you tell us Smith has some kind of superpowered duck?

A meta duck.

Economos

He doesn't have a superpowered duck. He's got a regular eagle.

That regular eagle just took down five agents. One's in the ICU. Another lost an eye. Another one needs to have a reconstructive facial surgery.

Economos

Fuck. O-okay, I'll be right in.

Make it fast. [ends the call]

He told me duck. What kind of man takes advantage of another man's bird blindness? [Bordeaux walks off] Right. [another nurse passes by] Sorry, excuse me.