TV show quotes
I'm eating an apple.
[doesn't look up] Yeah, well, good for you.
It's really delicious. I'm really enjoying it. I'm going to be eating lots of them from now on, broccoli too.
Have you seen the checkbook?
I'm sorry, Charlie.
Yeah, well, just help me look for it.
No, I mean...I'm sorry about before. You know, with the sleepover. You got so mad...I didn't think it would make you that mad. You almost hit me...
I don't want to talk about that, OK?
But I...
OK?
How many is a lot?
A couple....a few....some....six.
Six? Six cavities? That's, like, 20% of your teeth, Claud! You eat way too much sugar, that's the problem.
I do not!
Yes, you do! Why don't you have a nice piece of fruit when you get home from school?
Why don't you get a haircut?
I'm serious, Claud, when was the last time you had a vegetable?
When was the last time you put down the toilet seat?
Okay. That is it. I'm getting rid of the sugar cereals.
What?
We'll get that sugar-free granola stuff, and you can have some raisins and maybe an orange juice bar when you come home from school.
Wait a sec. Raisins. Raisins, is that a joke?
Do you see me laughing? 6 cavities is completely insane. You'll have enough silver to set off the alarms at the airport. Yeah? Okay, fine. Savour it. It's the last one you're getting for a long time.
Broccoli? Yuck. I don't like broccoli. You know I don't like it, I never liked it.
Try it again. Maybe you'll like it this time.
What's that suppose to mean? Parents say that to kids all the time, it just doesn't make sense. Why would I suddenly like something I've hated my whole life? Are you some sort of cooking genius, or has my taste changed overnight? I don't think so.
We'll sit here until you finish eating the broccoli.
I can't believe you throw out everything we have over a stupid plate of vegetables. I hate you now, you know that. I'll probably hate you forever.
Eat.
Don't you dare.
What are you going to do? Tackle me, throw me to the ground, lock me in my room?
For God's sales, Claudia. I'm warning you.
I'm done with dinner.
Ok, that's it. No more TV. The set is not going on, not for a single second for the rest of the month. You lose, Claud.
[Claudia's crying about Jill's death] Why are you crying?
Because. Why aren't you?
Would you please just get out of here, Claudia?
[to Ross] You'd make such a great father. You, like, never yell. And you never do that thing parents do when they're pretending to listen, but really they're just noticing you have a lot of wax in your ear.
I can't love anymore, it's too hard. So I'm not going to love anyone, and I don't want anyone to love me.
That's too bad... you don't have a choice... because I love you, Bailey. I love you, man.
Bailey, what the hell do you think you're doing?
What?
Driving drunk?
I am not-- (then looks at Will) What, did you tattle on me, man?
You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! What are you thinking about? Like every day in this house doesn't say to you, you do not drink and then get behind the wheel.
Okay.
Like you need to be told.
Okay! Fine. You made your point.
Closing up!
Tell your folks to start feeding you again, Will. It's your last free meal. Joe fired me today. Said there were only four days left to the only summer before the only senior year I'd ever have, and I should enjoy myself.
You know, Claud, when the doctor says there's a 98 percent chance you're gonna be fine, that's a good sign.
I know.
Well, if you know, then what's the problem?
What if it's that 2 percent?
It won't be. That's what 2 percent means.
No, that's what zero percent means.
Does that answer your question, Major?
Yeah. I'm the boss. I'm the boss, and kind of the dad... a couple of hours from now, I'll be the husband. If I had a clue how to be even one of those I'd be happy. [pause] There was this woman tonight. Last night, whatever it was. She wanted me to go to bed with her... and she was pretty and needy. Always a good combination, right George? It felt like this test, you know? The snake offering the apple, that kind of thing. And I said no. So if it was a test I passed it. Which means I ought to be feeling pretty good about it now. So, let me ask you a question. How come I still feel like I want to run away someplace? How come I feel like I can't breathe? How come it feels like someone's got their fist around my lungs?
Are you bringing anybody to the wedding?
A date? No. You?
No. Griffin never would have come anyway. He probably doesn't even own a tie.
I love this song.
I hate this song.
Justin, this was our song.
Exactly.
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