Marty Byrde quotes from Ozark

Peter came to me last night in a dream and told me that this community wants a church.

Marty Byrde

Peter?

Peter, the apostle. The rock on which the church was built.

Marty Byrde

Right.

Well, sewage was so different back then, you know?

Marty Byrde

Here we go. Buddy Holly's a perfect example. Buddy Holly, the day he died, uh...

Wendy Byrde

Yeah, I know, he won a coin flip, or he wouldn't have been on the plane.

Marty Byrde

No, it was actually Valens that won the coin toss. It was Buddy Holly that chartered the plane. Do you wanna know why?

Wendy Byrde

'Cuz he was tired of riding in shitty buses?

Marty Byrde

No, he was tired of shitty underwear. So he decided that he wanted to get to wherever he was going as quickly as possible, so he could do laundry.

Marty Byrde

It's true.

Wendy Byrde

So you're saying "The Day the Music Died" was because of soiled briefs?

Marty Byrde

Another good example is D-Day. The Nazis knew that we were coming, so they wanted to line the beach with tanks so they could literally blow us out of the water. But Hitler decided that it was a good day for sedatives. So they couldn't wake him up to get the final sign-off for the tanks, and the rest is history.

Wendy Byrde

What the hell are you talking about?

Marty Byrde

I'm talking about decisions.

Wendy Byrde

What, I'm Hitler in this analogy?

Marty Byrde

No.

Wendy Byrde

I would hope not.

Marty Byrde

[chuckles] Uh, I'm just saying that any decision made, big or small, has an impact around the world. It's difficult.

Wendy Byrde

Marty, I just don't need a theoretical analysis right now.

Marty Byrde

I know. I'm just saying this is tough.

Wendy Byrde

I know... Marty, watch out!

Marty, you can't blame yourself for what happened.

Marty Byrde

I know.

Do you?

Marty Byrde

Yeah.

I'm serious; there's nothing you could do about it. Like my dad always said, "Everything happens for a reason."

Marty Byrde

Your dad sounds like he was full of shit. With all due respect.

Yeah, well, perhaps.

Marty Byrde

You really believe that? You really think that there's some preordained chart, floating around up in the ether, with our fate all figured out?

I don't know about a preordained chart...

Marty Byrde

That's a bunch of crap. Things happen because human beings make decisions, they commit acts, and that makes things happen. And it creates a snowball effect with the, you know, their world around them, causes other people to make decisions. Cycle continues, snowball keeps rolling. And even when that's not the case, when life's events are not connected to other people's decisions and actions, it's not some bullshit fucking test sent down from the universe to check your resolve, you know.

Okay.

Marty Byrde

I mean, what would the reason be for some healthy five-year-old to get a brain tumor? Or why would a tsunami wipe out a village? You tell those families everything happens for a reason. No, sometimes people make decisions, shit happens, and we gotta act accordingly. Or you can... crawl in a hole and die, you know?

Well, it was a shitty thing for me to say and I'm sorry, bud.

Camino Del Rio

Grab what you can while you can.

Marty Byrde

I, just, uh, you know...

Camino Del Rio

What? The risks?

Marty Byrde

Yes.

Camino Del Rio

Well, I understand, but you only really have to worry about the risks if you are careless or dumb. And you're neither.

Marty Byrde

[having just witnessed a murder and mutilation] Jesus Christ!

[holding up eyeballs] What d'you want me to do with 'em?

Camino Del Rio

Save them for a rainy day. [to Marty] You don't know how wonderful it is to have someone on board that I can trust.

Marty Byrde

How'd that Sam thing go?

Wendy Byrde

We own a funeral home now.

Marty Byrde

Of course we do.

Wendy Byrde

[about their latest cash influx] Skip wrapping it. Just get it out of sight.

Marty Byrde

No, I can't just stack bills in a wall and call it a day. There's rot, and there's termites, there's rats. First year I did this, Bruce lost 300K in two days to squirrels.

Marty Byrde

You know, by shooting him, you basically signed my death warrant.

Well, remind me, next time, I'll let him kill your family.

Marty Byrde

[dancing and scheming] So where do we live?

Wendy Byrde

Look who's getting ahead of himself.

Marty Byrde

How about Luxembourg?

Wendy Byrde

That's the best you've got? Luxembourg?

Marty Byrde

How about Santorini?

Wendy Byrde

No.

Marty Byrde

No? Some white sand beaches?

Wendy Byrde

Mnh-mnh. Tourists. Steep inclines. Donkeys.

Darlene Snell

[calling out from the porch] You buckle up! Drive safe.

Jacob Snell

Things happen. You apologize and you move on.

Marty Byrde

She blew a man's head off.

Jacob Snell

For which she is contrite.

Marty Byrde

Am I supposed to believe that?

Jacob Snell

The woman brought you fresh honey.

Marty Byrde

Mm-hmm.

Marty Byrde

You know, I used to think that we were, uh, different than them. You know, these people that we work for. And, um...

Wendy Byrde

Hey. We are different from them. You saved my life. Mason would've killed me otherwise. And you are the one who has always said, "People make choices."

Marty Byrde

Mason's wife didn't have a choice. Our kids, they didn't have a choice.

Roy Petty

So, why are we here, Marty?

Marty Byrde

EMTs found a wire on Rachel. I know she was working with you.

Roy Petty

And?

Marty Byrde

She's worthless to you now.

Roy Petty

It's kind of touching, the way you care about her. I mean, she was trying to put you away.

Marty Byrde

She almost died last night. I'm asking you as a human being to let her go.

Roy Petty

You work for one of the most vicious cartels in the world, and you're talking to me about being human?

Marty Byrde

Rachel isn't a criminal.

Roy Petty

Does your wife know about your feelings for Rachel?

Marty Byrde

Do your superiors know that you were supplying drugs to Rachel?

Roy Petty

Just so we're clear, the drugs she OD'd on came from your business partners. But I might be willing to let her off the hook, if...

Marty Byrde

If?

Roy Petty

I want the Snells' operation.

Marty Byrde

The Snells are our partners in the casino. I'm not aware of an operation.

Roy Petty

We think the Snells poisoned the cartel's dope. Maybe this marriage of convenience became inconvenient. But once the cartel figures it out, it doesn't bode well for their partnership. So... if you really care about Rachel, you're gonna have to choose sides, Marty.

Wendy Byrde

Where have you been? It's late. We've been worried.

Charlotte Byrde

I have something I wanna talk to you about.

Wendy Byrde

What is it?

Charlotte Byrde

I wanna get emancipated.

Wendy Byrde

What are you talking about?

Marty Byrde

What?

Charlotte Byrde

Do you remember Jordan Parks from back home? He did it. He had his own apartment when he was a senior.

Wendy Byrde

That kid's parents are drug addicts. There's a difference there.

Marty Byrde

This is silly. You'd have to pay for rent, food, clothes.

Charlotte Byrde

I'll get a job.

Wendy Byrde

Where? McDonald's? You think minimum wage would pay for all that?

Marty Byrde

Charlotte, I know things have been crazy, but we gotta stay together.

Charlotte Byrde

Why?

Marty Byrde

We're a family.

Charlotte Byrde

What does that even mean? I don't wanna hurt you. I love you, but I can't be a part of this anymore. Everyone lies about everything. It's gone too far. You can fight me on this, or you can help me. I've made up my mind. I want out.

Jonah Byrde

What's going on?

Wendy Byrde

Your sister is upset.

Jonah Byrde

Upset?

Wendy Byrde

Okay, more than upset. She doesn't wanna be a member of this family anymore.

Jonah Byrde

What are you talking about?

Charlotte Byrde

I'm emancipating.

Marty Byrde

You are not emancipating.

Jonah Byrde

I don't... I don't understand.

Charlotte Byrde

It just means I'll be in charge of my own decisions.

Marty Byrde

We are so close to working out what I admit is a terrible situation. But right now, you are being really fucking selfish.

Wendy Byrde

That's not helpful.

Marty Byrde

[scoffs] Well... We're gonna get through this, okay?

Charlotte Byrde

Oh, is that a cliché or a platitude?

Wendy Byrde

Mmm. I'm trying to see your side here.

Charlotte Byrde

You're scared. You both are. You know I'm right. You're scared, and you should be.

Marty Byrde

So, you understand how this works, right?

Wendy Byrde

That's what you're saying? That's part of the threat?

Marty Byrde

So, you're really gonna get a lawyer who's gonna ask questions? Who's gonna file papers in court stating exactly why you wanna be emancipated? So, I'm just wondering... I'm wondering, what are you gonna say that's gonna keep us from all being arrested? Or killed? Jonah, pass the pancakes.

Marty Byrde

Since when is it prudent to try to off your partners before a deal is even finalized? I must have missed that issue of the Harvard Business Review.

Helen Pierce

I told you, the cartel is gonna do what the cartel is gonna do.

Marty Byrde

Right.

Helen Pierce

Your job was to find a way to make this deal without the Snells.

Marty Byrde

I was in the middle of trying to figure out if that's even possible.

Helen Pierce

I did not say it was done. The Snells poisoned my client's product. My client couldn't allow such brazen disrespect without a proportional response.

Wendy Byrde

We completely understand your client's need for respect.

Marty Byrde

Are you fucking kidding me?

Wendy Byrde

Marty...

Marty Byrde

I mean, your client's little ego trip just completely fucked us. It fucked the casino, and he pissed away $50 million.

Helen Pierce

It wasn't my decision. I wasn't even informed of it.

Wendy Byrde

How do we salvage this?

Helen Pierce

Find a way to immediately cut the Snells out of this deal.

Marty Byrde

We're not salvaging shit.

Helen Pierce

It's the first law of power, Marty. Those who can, shit on others. Those who can't, clean it up.

Marty Byrde

I'm not playing your fucking games anymore.

Helen Pierce

You don't have an option.

Marty Byrde

Neither do you. And neither does your client, if he wants to keep his $50 million. You think I'm the only one over a fucking barrel?

Helen Pierce

Clean up your own shit.

Wendy Byrde

He'll do it.