Buddy Dyker quotes from Ozark

[teaching Noah to shoot] Now that's what I love about watermelon. They approximate the water content of a human body. [shoots the watermelon] Not that I advocate that, but... [chuckles]

Jonah Byrde

Does it hurt?

What?

Jonah Byrde

Dying.

[chuckles] Life hurts.

Jonah Byrde

Last year, a 12-year-old kid from my school died. He had cancer.

Well, "We're born astride the grave." [sighs] You know what that means?

Jonah Byrde

No.

Sit down. It means that we're all dying the minute we're born. Goes fast. Don't waste it. Don't waste it.

Don't swim past that red buoy. Boats come out of nowhere, they'll sweep you up in their wake. Take a month to fish out all your tender little bits and pieces. Not that I'd miss you, but if you cost me the last good month of boating in my life, I promise I'll piss on your grave every last day until I die.

Charlotte Byrde

Yeah, well, what makes you think they'd find enough to bury me before you drop dead?

Wendy Byrde

What, Buddy?

Oh, nothing. I was just thinking, if my ex-wife and I had had it out like that, we might still be together. Anyway the two of you are up to your ballsacks in drama, tell you that.

Marty Byrde

You know, by shooting him, you basically signed my death warrant.

Well, remind me, next time, I'll let him kill your family.

There was a French writer, long time ago - I can't remember his name. Well, I can't remember anybody's name. Anyway, he was old, for those days, and very sick, lungs and ticker all going, and he was stuck in bed. Now, this guy's a loner all his life. But he tells the lady taking care of him that he wants to see his friends, say goodbye. So she sends out word, and all his friends come to his little hovel, gather around his deathbed, telling stories. And you know what happens?

Wendy Byrde

What happens?

He doesn't die.

And then after a couple days, the friends, well, they leave. They have lives. And then he dies. Sad, but sweet. Because, when you think you're gonna die yesterday, today is sweet. So, hang in, Wendy. Lose your shit tomorrow. Today's no day to fall apart.