Orange Is the New Black Season 1 quotes

Larry Bloom

[about Piper] I mean, she told me how she traveled after college. But she failed to mention the lesbian lover who ran an international drug smuggling ring. Imagine my surprise.

Look at you, blondie. What'd you do?

Piper Chapman

Aren't you not supposed to ask that question? I read that you're not supposed to ask that.

You read that? What, you studied for prison?

Sam Healy

[to Piper] No one's gonna mess with you here unless you let them. This isn't Oz. Women fight with gossip and rumors.

Do you know what a mandala is?

Piper Chapman

Um, those are those round Buddhist art things.

The Tibetan monks make them out of dyed sand, laid out into big, beautiful designs. And when they're done, after days or weeks of work they wipe it all away.

Piper Chapman

Wow. That's, that's a lot.

Try to look at your experience here as a mandala, Chapman. Work hard to make something as meaningful and beautiful as you can. And when you're done, pack it in and know it was all temporary. You have to remember that. It's all temporary.

Larry Bloom

This is all just an adventure, with liver and Yoga Jones and, and, and racism.

Lorna Morello

We should've warned you about Red.

Piper Chapman

Well, I just didn't expect to be punished while I was getting punished.

What's the matter, you don't wanna hit me again?

From here on out, this place will hit you for me.

Might not look like it, but there's rules in this place. The most important of which is, the second you're perceived as weak, you already are.

Thank God I got cancer. No one fucks with cancer.

And the penguin goes, "He's not an eggplant, he's retarded"!

[on Sophia] Cyborg pussy. Bet it's fucking perfect.

Piper Chapman

I'm not your wife.

I threw my pie for you.

Sam Healy

Lesbians can be very dangerous. It's the testosterone.

Piper Chapman

What are you doing?

It's an art piece representing the futility of blue collar labor in a technological age. And vaginas.

Piper Chapman

In the morning when I wake up, there are these few seconds before I realize where I am. And then I do realize, and I can't breathe. And I want to cry and throw shit and kill myself. When does that end?

I'll let you know.