We gotta talk bro.
About what?
About the Commander.
What about him?
I think he’s dating.
What?! Dating? Like, woman?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
AAubrey
I can't tell you how much I liked kissing you at Pumpkin Fest.
I can't tell you how much I liked being kissed by you at Pumpkin Fest.
AAubrey
I think we should do it again sometime.
I think so too.
AAubrey
Well, I'm free in four seconds.
[Dean Leslie Etwood walks in just as Nick and Aubrey are about to kiss]
College employees should be honest in carrying out their duties, and avoid conflicts between their private interests and their professional responsibilities. All this in a groovy little tome called the "Dufresne College Teacher Code of Conduct". Allow me to boil it down to its basic bits. Your chances of survival here are determined by which is more important to you; your class or... the lass.
[Sam finds Eddie at the barbecue, after he stood up Janet]
Interesting.
What?
Or maybe disappointing is more like it.
Your mom here?
No, she couldn’t make it. She’s too busy convincing the nicest person in all of Knight's Ridge that you’re not as bad as you seem right now.
You’re a little out of your station here Sam, don’t you think?
Why didn’t you bring her? ‘Fraid of getting teased?
It’s a tough lesson about getting older Sam, but everyone has a role in the big picture. If somebody stops serving that role, then, the whole thing crumbles.
So what’s your role?
To date a…certain kind of girl…the really beautiful kind
You know when horses make poop? My grandmother calls it pucky.
So?
Everything you’ve just said, I’m pretty sure is horse pucky. And Janet? I think she is the beautiful kind.
Dad?
Ronnie... hey. Ahh...
[to Leslie] Who are you?
Now, I, I know you’ve had your suspicions and I should have done this a lot sooner, but…this is Leslie.
It is so nice to meet you Ronnie.
What’s going on?
Ronnie... Leslie’s my girlfriend.
[Ronnie looks at Leslie in disbelief]
Ronnie... Ronnie, please.
[Ronnie hugs Leslie]
Thank you, he’s been so lonely. Thank you very much.
Hey Janet, can I get a beer?
You know this whole you and me going to the homecoming game? It's a bad idea. It's not going to work. Cause here's the thing. I'm not taxes. I'm not the dentist. I'm not something you get out of the way.
What?
I'm also not like the other girls you've been with. I'm not a cute cashier. I don't know how to make waffle cones. I'm not another stop along the Eddie Latekka conquest trail... I'm not perky like Susan. I don't know how to bat my eyes like Lottie and I definitely don't have double D cups like...
[Eddie kisses her]
You know what? You're not like the other girls I usually date. You're smart and funny and beautiful inside and out. And you're absolutely NOTHING like taxes.
[Janet laughs a little, Eddie smiles and looks at her]
Excuse me.
[Eddie kisses her again]
So I guess that means you'll have time to open your window business
Yeah I guess, truth is it's something that Eddie and I always planned on doing since we were kids. Best Friend Windows is what we called it
Kind of a dorky name isn't it?
We were ten
I'm ten
Yeah, but you're...
different kind of dork?
Different kind of 10.
OOwen
He pulls over? He can't comfort her with one hand? One hand on the wheel, one hand comforting? How bout no hands comforting? Why do hands have to be involved at all in the comforting process?
EEmily
I can't believe I don't get to meet your parents tonight.
And I can't believe you made a reindeer out of a soda can. He's beautiful.
EEmily
"He"?
Santa's reindeer are all male.
EEmily
Are not.
They have strong, masculine names like Dancer, Dasher, Prancer, Comet.
EEmily
Nope. No sale, bub. Male reindeer lose their antlers long before December 25th, while females retain theirs until January.
So?
EEmily
So the reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh are always shown with antlers, which makes them female.
See, now, I could argue that, and we could get into this whole disputation on gender bias in caribou, or I could simply rejoice in the fact that my girlfriend possesses that kind of arcane knowledge.
EEmily
And I could rejoice in the fact that you just called me your girlfriend.
Well, you are. You are the wind beneath my hooves.
Where did you get this dog?
Monk McGillicuddy came into the bar last week with a litter of puppies.
Monk McGillicuddy who set fire to the church our senior year of high school.
Um, I guess. Why?
No reason except that this is not a puppy.
What do you mean it’s not a puppy?
It’s a wolf.
What do you mean it’s a wolf?
I mean it’s a wolf.
I got you a wolf?
Yeah, you got me a wolf. I was gonna get you a leopard, but they were fresh out.
You need to go out. Find a girl.
That is the last thing I need. I need a vacation from girls. A girl vacation. Do you know what a girl vacation is dad?
Prison?
No. It's spending some time with me. Just me. I need to spend some quality time with me.
IIkey
Minus the last few months, we've been friends for almost 20 years. I know that because every time I look in the mirror and see my bent nose, it reminds me of how I met Owen Rowan's elbow on the playground, before I met the rest of him. I just moved to the Ridge. I didn't know Jack from Jill. I remember, he felt so bad afterwards, I was just some grimy kid with a wad of toilet paper up his nose but you introduced me to your friends - and that changed everything. I wasn't David Eichorn anymore. I was Ikey. That's how Owen introduced me to you guys. I was Ikey. And Ikey's all I've ever been. You guys are a part of me. Nick, remember these skid marks? Huh? Yeah, when you dared me to ride down North Hill Road on my bike during a storm. And this gimpy pinky finger huh, Phys? I got this from those home made fire crackers you told me were 100% safe. I got my man Eddie Latekka of course, to thank for my best pick up line. [Rolls up left sleeve and reveals a scar] I tell all the girlies I got this in Desert Storm from a bayonet when actually, you just nicked me with a hedge trimmer. I know, we've come a long way since that playground, Owen. You brought me into the fold back then. I'm hoping you'll let me back in now. I can't lose you guys anymore than I can lose my own skin. You're who I am! I'm Ikey because of you guys. And while maybe, Ikey ain't so much, he's a lot less when he ain't got you guys in his life.
[to Eddie] We've been dating for a while now. A while! And we still haven't seen it... "On the Waterfront". So I was thinking we should hang out at my place tomorrow night, and we should most definitely watch "On the Waterfront". Because if we don't watch "On the Waterfront" we may run the risk of never watching it. Ever. Okay?
Life isn't then. Life isn't when. Life is this. Here. Now.
When you were a little boy I warned you never to speak to strangers, never knowing that years later I'd qualify as one.
JJody
We're both single, no one will find you particularly attractive, and I can tell you find me a little unpleasant, but it's a lovely night, there's rain in the forecast, and I've got a great bottle of absinth back at my nest. So why don't you come over and we'll get alcoholized and bend our backs in bed?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's October Road pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.