Physical Phil quotes from October Road

Hey, um, you don't write manifestos, do you?

Phil

What do you mean?

Tracts, screeds, ideological rants, anti-technology mantras hating on mechanizations and machines in industrial society? I mean, you don't just write those, do you?

Phil

No.

I just think critical perspective is really important, that's all, for everything. You know, my dad - when he runs out of staples, he throws out the entire stapler. I'm sorry. I go on. I just feel the need to let conversations linger. It's like I don't know how to end them. You know, my friend Sarah - she says for my birthday she's gonna get me a carton of periods. The punctuation mark, not the menstrual cycle. God, a carton of menstrual cycles. How do you even wrap that?

Phil

I don't know.

Phil

Yeah. I'll see you later.

Your eyes...they're off the hinge.

Phil

What?

They're beautiful...and...I should know...because I get a lot of looks.

Phil

No, that pizza had plenty of feta on it. I, I called you back because I was wondering if you’d like to go in sometime.

Go in?

Phil

It’s like going out only you do it here.

So... what they say is true?

Phil

What do they say?

You don’t leave.

Phil

Yes, it’s true I don’t.

Mrs. Kesler told me.

Phil

She did. I can’t believed she narced. I, I... All those years I pretended to love those Bundt cakes.

She said, in this day and age when it’s impossible to count on anyone... what could be better than knowing there’s a guy who will always be there.

Phil

She said that?

She did.

I can't believe I don't get to meet your parents tonight.

Physical Phil

And I can't believe you made a reindeer out of a soda can. He's beautiful.

"He"?

Physical Phil

Santa's reindeer are all male.

Are not.

Physical Phil

They have strong, masculine names like Dancer, Dasher, Prancer, Comet.

Nope. No sale, bub. Male reindeer lose their antlers long before December 25th, while females retain theirs until January.

Physical Phil

So?

So the reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh are always shown with antlers, which makes them female.

Physical Phil

See, now, I could argue that, and we could get into this whole disputation on gender bias in caribou, or I could simply rejoice in the fact that my girlfriend possesses that kind of arcane knowledge.

And I could rejoice in the fact that you just called me your girlfriend.

Physical Phil

Well, you are. You are the wind beneath my hooves.

Eddie

[At seeing Phil naked] Whoa!

Nick

What's... goin' on Phil?

Physical Phil

Hey Guys! Just cataloging my CDs.

Nick

Yeah, that's not what I'm talkin' about.

Physical Phil

Oh, Pizza Girl had to sketch a nude for her drawing class. I was her model. And then, when we were done, it occurred to me, I wasn't really in the need to put my clothes back on.

Eddie

Why not?

Physical Phil

Oh, because sometimes I feel trapped in here. But without my clothes... [takes a step closer to the boys and they grow uncomfortable]

Eddie

Whoa, okay, so... you're just gonna be naked from now on?

Physical Phil

Not naked. Nude!

Eddie

Right.

Physical Phil

Naked implies, embarrassment and vulnerability, exposure...

Nick

Yeah.

Physical Phil

...Nude, does not. Nude implies 'the sun on my bum', the air on my snookle. Nude implies, free!

Eddie

[Pointing in opposite direction] I'm going over here.

Nick

I'll go with you.

Physical Phil

[Sees Eddie sitting naked on the couch] Whoa! Okay. What're you doing?

Eddie

Savoring every last bit of this hot peppers and steak.

Physical Phil

I mean why aren't you wearing any clothes?

Eddie

Well, you made such a fuss about the virtues of being set free I figured I'd give it a try. And you know what? It is really liberating! I may never wear clothes again either.

Physical Phil

But you can't... if, if I'm... Fine. Done. My days of nudism are over.

Eddie

What? Why?

Physical Phil

Aw, c'mon Eddie. We can't live like this. One guy naked it's charming, it's quirky! But two guys, it's... It's not something I'm comfortable with.

Eddie

[Triumphantly] I said it before and I'll say it again; Pizza Girl ain't the only one who delivers.