Numb3rs Season 5 quotes

Charlie Eppes

It sounds like they created a classic game theory scenario, doesn't it?

Marshell Pentfield

Yes, it does. "Johnny von Neumann", the old three man gunfight.

Colby Granger

A mathematical gunfight, huh?

Marshell Pentfield

Imagine a duel between three people. Now, I'm the worst shot. I hit the target once every three tries.

Marshell Pentfield

One of my opponents is better. Hits it twice every three shots.

Marshell Pentfield

The third guy is a dead shot. He never misses. Now, each gets one shot. As the worst, I go first. Then Charlie, then Colby. Who do I aim for, for my one shot?

Colby Granger

I guess me 'cause I'm the biggest danger, right?

Marshell Pentfield

[makes a gun shooting motion toward Charlie] I shoot Eppsey first, but not for the obvious reasons. Chances are two to one I'm going to miss.

Charlie Eppes

And now it's my turn. Logic says I shoot Colby. [makes shooting motion toward Colby]

Colby Granger

Right, 'cause if I'm still standing, I'm gonna shoot you, and I don't miss.

Charlie Eppes

Exactly.

Marshell Pentfield

As the worst, I use the two better shooters against each other.

Marshell Pentfield

How do you not have your own show on PBS?

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Within the small sphere of our lives we can stare into the past, but all we can really change is our future.

[About three escapees from prison] Unless we hear reports about three badasses terrorizing the countryside in their underwear, count on a change of clothes, too.

This is Hollywood! Watch your step! Breaking your leg here does not bring you any luck!

Amita Ramanujan

[about Larry and Alan arguing] It's like this one time, when Bugs Bunny tricks Duffy Duck into declaring duck season, by declaring rabbit season. And then Elmer Fudd shoots Duffy Duck and his beak spin around. It's really very funny!

Charlie Eppes

[to Amita] It's too quiet with my dad away, drop a spoon or something.

Amita Ramanujan

Imagine Alan in high school. Hanging out by the bike rags, snapping towels in the shower.

Charlie Eppes

Thanks for the shower image.

Don Eppes

Is this going to get us anywhere, or are we just digressing?

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

When do I ever digress?

Nikki Betancourt

[after David opened a secret vault] How'd you do that?

David Sinclair

I work for Batman.

David Sinclair

[about the thiefs] Let me get this straight. They passed up paintings and diamonds for...

Nikki Betancourt

Sneakers!?

Nikki Betancourt

[after David opened a secret vault] How'd you do that?

David Sinclair

It worked for Batman.

Colby Granger

I seem like a roast beef kind of guy to you?

David Sinclair

I won't discuss another man's meat.

Alan Eppes

Listen, when you're done with that, would you mind looking at something for me?

Charlie Eppes

Yeah, sure, what is it?

Alan Eppes

My profile. I'm joining Facebook... Well, I figured, since I'm back in college I might as well hook up with some old friends, maybe even find some new ones. People with similar interests as mine.

Charlie Eppes

Intrests in what? High School Musical?

Liz Warner

Look at you, back in Narc training you didn't even drink and now you're the drug prince of L.A.!

Why do you think we never hooked up back then?

Liz Warner

I d... you were married!