Alan Eppes quotes from Numb3rs

Alan Eppes

Listen, Charlie, if you've got one failing, it's only that you don't think like a criminal ... 'course, what does that say about me?

Alan Eppes

[to Don] My hope for grandchildren has been rekindled!

Alan Eppes

Please tell me that the food will be a color other than white.

Alan Eppes

No, I don't want to know what's going on.

Alan Eppes

I still have to take a shower.

Alan Eppes

No.

Alan Eppes

That's why using the water system makes perfect sense. They don't need to spread the poison themselves, the city distribution system will do the work for them!

Alan Eppes

Charlie sees math as beautiful, and he wants everyone else to love it the way he does.

Alan Eppes

Oh, come on, no. The house is fine – it's old, but it works ... you know, mostly ... I mean, it's a lot like me.

Alan Eppes

[to Don, about Charlie] He's not one of your agents! You know that, right?

Alan Eppes

They're having an all-night math-a-thon in the living room.

Alan Eppes

[to Larry] Not everyone has the emotional and intellectual resource to search for God in a supercollider.

Alan Eppes

Listen, Charlie, when you're dealing with the Government, it doesn't hurt to have more than just the facts on your side.

Amita Ramanujan

Actually, I'm spoken for, Mr. Eppes.

Alan Eppes

Really?

Amita Ramanujan

Back in Madras my parents arranged for marriage to a family friend. Nice Hindu banker from Goa.

Charlie Eppes

Really? Getting married?

Amita Ramanujan

God, no. He's a total ass.

Don Eppes

I guess I was inspired by Mr. Heisenberg, just like Charlie here suggested.

Alan Eppes

Heisenberg? What do you mean, the physicist?

Don Eppes

Yeah.

Alan Eppes

Oh. Your brother goes into a dangerous confrontation with heavily armed felons, and you prepare him with a lecture on the movement of subatomic particles.

Don Eppes

Low-key and memorable aren't mutually exclusive. You know what my favorite date ever was? Pepperoni pizza in a Laundromat.

Alan Eppes

Yes. Which explains the conspicuous absence of grandchildren.