TV show quotes
[about their previous encounter] We had fun, didn't we? Oh, by the way, is that genius brother of yours still working with you?
This three men, that hijacked that bus used your plan.
You don't think I'm in on this, do you? I'm doing seven to ten here. You think some crook is gonna take my share of 16 Mio. and put it in a cookie jar until I get out?
I'm a traditionalist. I like to get my news like a human being.
Yeah, I've seen the human being that gives this report. She makes Pamela Anderson look like a refugee.
I know, but she reads beautifully.
You know, I've been thinking about what Buckley said... about honeymooning in Costa Rica.
Depending on the time of year, lots of rain.
We'll bring umbrellas.
Scorpions! They got scorpions down there that sleep in peoples shoes.
So we'll wear sandals.
Very long flight.
Not if we take separate planes. [Don enters]
What do you think about Costa Rica?
Ahm, I don't know. I hear they've got a lot of scorpions.
[on stakeout with the team] So are you saying, we're here on a hunch?
I wouldn't call it a hunch. It's a...
[whispers] An induction.
It's an induction!
So this whole stakeout here is based on evidence that basically guarantees we're gonna fail?
[about old bills] There are four in one bag. Do you guys realise what the odds are here?
No, but I'm guessing we're about to find out.
What would you do if you won the lottery, Sinclair?
Well, I'd drive a nice car to work. What about you?
Well, first off, I'd buy you a nicer car.
Oh yeah?
Then I'd make you drive me to work.
[looking over Alans shoulder] Grow a ponytail?
Yeah. I found an old wish list.
Who's? Steven Seagal's?
[about Charlie] What are you gonna do about his bachelor party? The whole cliche Las Vegas stripper thing?
No! I'm thinking like golf, cigars... maybe Laguna or Torrey Pines.
It's suppised to be his bachelor party, right? Not yours?
Well, fine... we could take him to a Stephen Hawking seminar.
[after getting shot at through their car] I wanna get my hands on that guy.
Never mind that guy. I wanna get that gun.
Should I be worried, that a cloning expert is feeding my fish... with spices?
Yeah! I've glazed their food with carotenoid rich paprika. The genetically prone ones are gonna becoma a brilliant red.
If the poor things don't die of indigestion first.
Hey guys! Come on back in, half time is almost over.
Ugh, football! Survival of the witless.
[after the TV gets blank] Ahm, Charlie!
What?
The TV!
Ah, it's the cable, there's a... there's an intermittent where it hooks up in the garage.
I know.
[sees the face she makes] I'll go fix it.
[turning up from under a tent in Charlie's garage] Hello Charles.
Larry? What are you doing here?
Ah well, given the general detritus, the tent... i'd say the answer is fairly obvious. I've been squatting.
He brought the class gerbil home for Christmas break. He was so cute and I was playing with him while I was conducting an experiment one day and...who knew that gerbil fur was so flammable?
In ancient india beards were held with such reverence, that they could be cut off and used as a form of payment.
That's alright, you can stay for free.
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