[showing Don the picture of a suspect] I already ran Hitchcock here through Quantico, nothing yet.
S5 E9Conspiracy Theory
[reading a conspiracy site] FBI: fools, bureaucrats and idiots!
S5 E10Frienemies
Where's the glasses?
Where's the hair?
In a world where mathematicians go mano a mano with a killer.
This time it's personal.
Boys, don't make me pull the math car over.
God, why am I so stupid?
Do you want answers 1–50 or 50–100?
We got to get this guy. He made me itch in front of strangers.
[Colby and David walk into a neighborhood being run by a criminal and everyone promptly goes into their homes]
Everybody knows our name, but nobody's glad we came.
It sounds like they created a classic game theory scenario, doesn't it?
Yes, it does. "Johnny von Neumann", the old three man gunfight.
A mathematical gunfight, huh?
Imagine a duel between three people. Now, I'm the worst shot. I hit the target once every three tries.
[Indicates Charlie]
One of my opponents is better. Hits it twice every three shots.
[Indicates Colby]
The third guy is a dead shot. He never misses. Now, each gets one shot. As the worst, I go first. Then Charlie, then Colby. Who do I aim for, for my one shot?
I guess me 'cause I'm the biggest danger, right?
[makes a gun shooting motion toward Charlie] I shoot Eppsey first, but not for the obvious reasons. Chances are two to one I'm going to miss.
And now it's my turn. Logic says I shoot Colby. [makes shooting motion toward Colby]
Right, 'cause if I'm still standing, I'm gonna shoot you, and I don't miss.
Exactly.
As the worst, I use the two better shooters against each other.
[Charlie is explaining something]
How do you not have your own show on PBS?
S5 E11Arrow of Time
Within the small sphere of our lives we can stare into the past, but all we can really change is our future.
UJUgly Joe
[About three escapees from prison] Unless we hear reports about three badasses terrorizing the countryside in their underwear, count on a change of clothes, too.
S5 E12Jacked
BDBus driver
This is Hollywood! Watch your step! Breaking your leg here does not bring you any luck!
[about Larry and Alan arguing] It's like this one time, when Bugs Bunny tricks Duffy Duck into declaring duck season, by declaring rabbit season. And then Elmer Fudd shoots Duffy Duck and his beak spin around. It's really very funny!
S5 E13Trouble in Chinatown
[to Amita] It's too quiet with my dad away, drop a spoon or something.
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