Charlie Eppes quotes from Numb3rs

Charlie Eppes

Hey, Amita, do you remember that we were going to do that one thing earlier?

Amita Ramanujan

What thing?

Charlie Eppes

That thing you said we needed to do. Let's go do it.

Megan Reeves

What was that?

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Merely a very crude attempt at lending privacy.

Charlie Eppes

We're gonna need the surveillance footage and some tripods, a laser pointer ... and we're gonna need string.

Don Eppes

String?

Charlie Eppes

Lots of string.

Amita Ramanujan

Oh, by the way ... Larry called, from his string theory conference. He was confused about something.

Charlie Eppes

What, his-his double special relativity theory?

Amita Ramanujan

No. Whether he was in St. Louis or Cleveland.

Charlie Eppes

[sighs] He's so geographically challenged. Where is his conference?

Amita Ramanujan

Minneapolis.

Don Eppes

Hey Chuck you need some help back there? C'mon Susie Homemaker, we're ready to eat.

Charlie Eppes

If you call me Chuck one more time I swear,

Don Eppes

Yeah alright how 'bout "Chucky"?

Charlie Eppes

Chucky, how about I call you "Donald"?

Don Eppes

How about I called you "nerd"?

Charlie Eppes

[To Amita when she is leaving, clearly upset] What, did I say something I shouldn't have?

Amita Ramanujan

I don't know, Charlie. It's just that my job is starting to feel like it's all about your job.

Charlie Eppes

Dad got shot. During a hold-up at a grocery store. It was pretty ... upsetting.

Don Eppes

Yeah, I bet.

Charlie Eppes

And Mom made pancakes.

Don Eppes

Pancakes?

Charlie Eppes

I don't even dream normally.

Charlie Eppes

I'm using differential equations to perfect the chocolate chip cookie.

Amita Ramanujan

[takes a bite of a cookie] Needs bigger chips.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

[on highway attacks not being random] What about meteors?

Charlie Eppes

No, Larry. Not even the FBI can stop meteors.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Well, not yet, maybe ... but ...

Charlie Eppes

Larry, is everything all right?

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Everything? Well, I'm not sure that I can account for the state of all matter, but ...

Charlie Eppes

You know exactly what I'm talking about! Stop trying to Fleinhardt your way around answering me!

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Actually, I may have before me a problem that cannot be drummed away.

Charlie Eppes

Megan?

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

She's ... she's exiting and she's beautiful, and this thing that is between us, it's beginning to affect my work!

Charlie Eppes

What is going on between you two?

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

[stresses every single word] I have not the slightest idea!

Charlie Eppes

Well, you never worked well with emotionally uncertainty!

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

You think that's it? You think that a emotional uncertainty lies at the heart of all this?

Charlie Eppes

Really, I'm not as familiar with that side of you.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

[sighs] No ... nor, it seems, am I.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Tighten it.

Charlie Eppes

[slaps Larry's hand] Don't touch it.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Hey. Play nice.

Don Eppes

Don't go all Isaac Newton on me.

Charlie Eppes

Sir Isaac Newton.

Megan Reeves

Twenty minutes ago I was on the couch, watching Blazing Saddles in my pajamas. This better be good.

Charlie Eppes

Oh, this is better than good.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Your red cowgirl PJs?

Megan Reeves

[grins] Mmm-hmm.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Oh ... [stares into space, apparently contemplating the scene]

Oswald Kittner

I get shot at, and you guys respond to it by doing math?

Charlie Eppes

That's how we roll at CalSci.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

I believe that's my copy of the Quarterly Review of Cosmology?

Charlie Eppes

Yeah, it is ...

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Why are we engaged in combat over it?