Charlie Eppes quotes from Numb3rs

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Evaluating my immediate prospects for a conventional nuclear family, I've just now begun to consider adoption.

Charlie Eppes

How long have you been considering that?

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Three days.

Charlie Eppes

Give it a few more days.

Charlie Eppes

In the first place, uh, we-we're not even sure that there, that there is a bomb, so ...

Alan Eppes

Bomb?

Charlie Eppes

Well, we don't know where it's gonna go off.

Alan Eppes

Well, maybe not, but I would suggest that people quickly taking a ride out of town in an easterly direction might be of help right now.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Well, possibly not with these current wind conditions.

Alan Eppes

I heard that, uh, Don was leaning towards the wife.

Charlie Eppes

That's right.

Alan Eppes

Seems to be the first place they look nowadays.

Charlie Eppes

I don't understand. I mean, if you hate the person you're married to that much, get divorced.

Alan Eppes

Even the thought of divorce holds its own special horrors, let me tell you.

Charlie Eppes

Well, you and mom never thought about ... I mean, I was never witness to any kind of ...

Alan Eppes

That's exactly the way we wanted it.

Don Eppes

Hey, Charlie.

Charlie Eppes

Hey.

Don Eppes

What's up?

Charlie Eppes

Just grading tests for my non-linear dynamics class.

Don Eppes

Glad to see you're taking my advice and having some fun.

Charlie Eppes

Coincidences are a mathematical reality. Statistically unlikely events can and often do occur. Just look at the genesis of our planet.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Well, now, I agree that the factors that brought about life on Earth were statistically unlikely, but given the vastness of the cosmos, the limitless possibilities for matter and energy ... I'm with Einstein on this. There are no accidents.

Charlie Eppes

Why do they want pictures of us?

Don Eppes

[yells] He's a famous mathematician!

Charlie Eppes

Don't do that.

Don Eppes

Hey, get your vogue on, Charlie.

Charlie Eppes

You know, this isn't the first love letter I've ever received. When I published my first article in the American Journal of Mathematics, I was invited to spend the weekend at a bed and breakfast in Santa Barbara.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Did you go?

Charlie Eppes

Ah, I was fourteen. My mother had to break the news to a very embarassed female professor at Berkeley.

Charlie Eppes

Agent Sinclair, you just happen to be talking to two card-carrying members of the North American Sundial Society.

David Sinclair

Let the good times roll.

Charlie Eppes

Larry, I was there when he gave that paper. And you stood up and called him a big fat cheater in front of a room full of people.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Well, no. Now, you're exaggerating. That room could not have been more than half full.

Charlie Eppes

Hey, hey, don't get all Fleinhardt on me. It's just the Physics Department Paper Airplane contest.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Fleinhardt? Since when did my last name become a predicate adjective?

Charlie Eppes

Since your students started using it that way.

Don Eppes

Who made this?

Charlie Eppes

Me. Why?

Don Eppes

Well, the wings are a bit thin.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Hey, wait, wait, let me see this.

Charlie Eppes

Forgive me if all my years in advanced applied mathematics take issues with that assessment.

Don Eppes

Well, forgive me if all my years in high school detention say I'm right.

Charlie Eppes

Dad would be so happy if we married a doctor.

Don Eppes

Yeah, well, Dad would be happy if I married someone with a pulse.

Charlie Eppes

I need the fastest way to the computer lab.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

I know a shortcut through Metallurgy.

Charlie Eppes

Is that the kind of stuff you talk about with Megan at lunch?

Don Eppes

Wait, hold on. You and Megan went out to lunch?

Alan Eppes

Please tell me you ordered something other than white food.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

This was a meal shared by two inquisitive minds in an intellectual pursuit.

Charlie Eppes

Of course it was, like all of your lunches with David. Oh, and with Colby.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

A gamma ray burst will release more energy in ten seconds than the sun will ever emit in its ten billion year lifespan.

Don Eppes

I got it, what's the Hulk's real name?

Charlie Eppes

Um, Bruce Banner.

Don Eppes

That's right. Didn't gamma rays turn him into the Hulk?

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

[ignoring them] They come from the farthest ends of the universe, and after 45 years, we're still uncertain of their origin.

Alan Eppes

And?

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

And we're closer to an answer on that than the three of you will ever get on this.

Don Eppes

... and Larry.

Alan Eppes

Now, there's an image.

Don Eppes

Hey boys, how we doing? What's for breakfast?

Charlie Eppes

Toast and tori.

Don Eppes

Tori? What do you mean, that looks like Cheerio's.

Charlie Eppes

Tori, plural of torus. A shape with a hole in it.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt

Well, topologically speaking.

Don Eppes

Mind if I have a rectangle?